5.7.07
come on in my kitchen
I'll put the kettle on.

i did have all these clever bits lined up, but now I'm not in the mood. Plus Seth put on an Elliot Smith record. Cold-hearted bastard.

Looks like some up-and-coming kid is vying for full rights to Shitstorm 2007. You peeps with the open lines should direct dial a prayer or two. You know who you are. Note to self: check friend's blog prior to sending email with careless subject line. I hate myself. This is duly noted.

In other news, pressing on to the trivial. Life is indifferent. It does not wait around.

As a reporter, I am used to receiving feedback - both positive and negative - about my articles. But with this whole commentary gig, there is a new element: Comments on personal appearance.

now, I have been guilty of this in the past, so if i can dish it out, i should be able to take it.

I'm used to the "OMG you look 14 lets date!!!!!" comments. However, I was somewhat taken aback by James from Whitehall, who called to tell me I was "way too brilliant for that hair cut." He said my face needed some serious framing work, and that he "couldn't get past" my huge forehead.

Now, granted, James is a hairdresser, (and also a huge fan of my writing!) but still. An odd comment to make. I will never have the gumption required to tell someone I couldn't imagine a world beyond their Ginormous Forehead, but then again, hair is not my forte. And if I want to believe the part about how awesome a writer I am, I'll also have to accept this "you are in desperate need of some bangs" mantra.

It's like the argument that you can't believe Jesus is both an intelligent moral guide for humanity and simultaneously a looney toon who claims to be the son of god.

Yes. It's just like that.

I remember Bill talking about a gentleman who took issue with his sideburns.
But I digress.

Seth and I bought a White Mountain.

These words are enough, I've heard, to make any child of the 60s and 70s shudder with both fear and delight.

Dad remembers the nights grandpa would send him crawling into the basement to dig out the White Mountain. He remembers cranking for what seemed like hours on end (adult time is about 25 minutes) until the final stages, when one of his brothers would have to sit on the bucket to keep it from wiggling around.

We used heavy cream, non-homogenized whole milk, sugar, vanilla and half and half.

Two hours later, a gallon and a half of homemade ice cream. It was very creamy. I got sick just from licking the sweet, sweet paddles -- and then I moved to bowls. There is nothing better than clutching a belly full of steak, beer, coffee and ice cream and knowing you'd do it all over again if you could.

.Any sucka can pick up a half gallon of Ben & Jerry's, but God Bless the USA.

Land where we have such an abundance of food and luxury, that we buy hand-powered ice cream machines out of boredom.

Did you know that a salt and water brine sucks heat from whatever it touches?

Salt + ice = Dry sidewalk.
Salt + ice = Frozen sweet milk.

Blows my effing mind.

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posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 5:15 PM  
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Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

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Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004.

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Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.

for our boss.
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for public officials, etc.
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"The perfect amount ... of panache."

-- Blogspot's Mae Klingler

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"I read your blog the other day."

--Jim Woods, Dispatch reporter

"You're not putting that on the Internet, are you?"

--family and friends

we must stop meeting like this.
klingler. rankin. strader. Nadine. i talked to her once and she was hilarious. jessm. Do the Dew. newbie. SJP. welcome to earf. the original spiderman. not safe around house plants. pencils from heaven. aholeonapc. e-normal. nevada. Look, ma. KT. name without a face. knows how to party. secret reading. bobservations. filipiak boy. filipiak girl. My sis, the blonde. Wogan's Heroes.
on notice.
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blager girls. blager boy.
i heart internets.
passiveagressivenotes. apostrophe abuse. literally the best thing on the Web. too much cute.
previously on.
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visuals.

theteet in pictures.

i heart internet two.
for pervs. freestyle nollie. free love freeway. NEW AMAZING FOOTAGE. jesus the hot air balloon. bubbles. aokusa. Gold Pants. fashion. Watch This Movie. the man who is always there for you is always here. Lambuel. cartoons. farming is fun!

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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