2.8.05
i know my boss is reading this right now
but can he fire me if the writing is totally awesome?

probably.

anyway, you can't stop me from talking about my new job. there will be no names, nothing really negative, just some slightly exaggerated (for purposes of hilarity, strength of story, added character, etc.) anecdotes for the pleasure of my readers from all around the globe. (who are you, united kingdom?)

anyway, so much for syllabus day.

my first day i walked in, they handed me a stack of paperwork, told me the mayor of Reynoldsburg had been in a motorcycle accident, and told me to have something for them by 2:00.

umm...could you please tell me where the bathrooms are?

later on in the day, i received word that i would be covering (among thousands of other stories that had piled up since the last reporter left two weeks ago) a City Council meeting whose agenda included every reporter's favorite words: levy discussion. so i beefed up on my millage and renewal v. replacement etc., (home owners must be geniuses) got out of the office at 5 and was at the meeting by 6. The meeting lasted two and a half hours and i got back to the office at 9. Deadline = 9:30.

I....I feel so alive! (thanks, P.O.D. with special guest Chris Cantoni)

I got home at 10 and thank our Sweet Baby Lord that Seth and the baby dog were waiting for me on the front porch. I needed a good old-fashioned face-licking. and Maybel. She was glad to see me too. I cried and cried and told Seth I was going back to the 'Bucks and that i wasn't cut out for that kind of work and whine whine this and whine whine that. it was awful. it appears a relatively stress-free, carefree life has caught up with me. Deadlines?! Lines of Death?! you mean, like, the Chantico is getting ready to expire? The milk has dropped below 120 degrees? You've got to be kidding me.

The good news is that although my stories were awful, i have learned a ton already, and i can't wait to get back into the swing. I have a desk, and i can hear other reporters on the phone. People run around sometimes waving papers (ok, only once, and it wasn't really a full wave...but it was on its way) And there are a ton of OU grads there, including "Megan," who almost beat me up my freshman year when she was really drunk because i wouldn't date her friend Easy. and including Garth, whose real name i will use for obvious reasons. he is the kid that shows up everywhere - in all your classes, at all the parties. and of course, he was there, at work. sitting on the computer, typing. of course he was. we have never talked.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 7:10 PM  
3 Comments:
  • At 02 August, 2005 16:55, Blogger shorttallnotatall said…

    dear lyndsey t. remember how the last time we talked using faces it was, oh, 2002? 2003, maybe? something like that. anyway, reading this entry today has finally signaled to me that it's time to say something that's been true for a long time now but hard to say, and here it is: i'm very proud of you, and to know you. there you have it. see you in 2007.

     
  • At 04 August, 2005 17:03, Blogger Monsterbeard said…

    Dear LT: Happy anniversary if we don't speak before then. I'm glad that POD is staying with you. Their new album drops... I don't actually know. I also don't understand use of the word "drop" in that context.

    I am also proud of you, in a jealous way. Then again, I'm still taking it easy with my slack job. Things to look forward to: being so cranky that you bitch at your co-workers and end up frowning a lot. Hello, you delightful 45-year old who makes children cry by your presence.

    I am just kidding. Good job. Stay true. This is a step to the better things you dream of when you're stuck awake with hope.

     
  • At 09 August, 2005 07:15, Blogger Megan said…

    I'm real behind, I know, but perhaps this will help anyway: http://www.flickr.com/photos/84828626@N00/32602359/
    p.s. the phrase "real behind" is used correctly, and I would encourage you to use it in a story sometime.
    p.p.s. You know my mom's best friend (the journalist) wrote about buying school supplies with me when I was 5. It was in the Great Bridge Somethingorother. Just so you know.

     
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my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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