31.7.05
call me george washington. or abe lincoln?
i totally chopped down a tree this weekend.

(and by chopped i mean "cut down with a chain saw," and by tree i mean "an adequately-sized tree, probably not big enough to kill a man, but definitely large enough to seriously maim someone...")

it may have looked unimpressive to most, but it really meant a lot to me. i have always wanted to do that. and seth said i looked hot with a chain saw, so there. we spent the weekend up up up away from the city at my parents house in ashland and we worked for a little bit dragging brush and setting fires and washing cars and moving heavy objects and various other chores. it felt gooooood.

there were no moving pictures on a screen in front of us. there were no sirens. there were no unfriendly transexual crossdresser servers at the drive-thru. there were only cheerful grocery store clerks, body-breaking assignments and the outside -- with the smell of the country. 'twas fantastic. we had breakfast in the big open room with the glass doors for walls and we watched our puppies play outside with the hummingbirds. at night we watched a video from our senior prom, which was, as the 2000 theme suggested, Almost Paradise. No, we weren't together then. Seth threw up a little afterward. Probably from the joy brought on by memories.

i want to live in the country.

but in the meantime, i have a new job to start tomorrow. and i need your help. i am not woman enough to fill out the clothes in the misses department, an at the same time, i do not enjoy the bedazzled, frayed, glittered and/or torn hip-hugging "business casual" clothes of the junior department. i have outgrown all the clothes i bought two years ago before they required all garments to be sanded before sold. this is quite a serious problem. petite sizes that i've found, (which apparently come only in size P8???) are also a no-go. all you fashion-savvies...get to work. you have to dress me.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:57 PM  
3 Comments:
  • At 31 July, 2005 19:09, Blogger shorttallnotatall said…

    this is a job for jessi dobos. here is what i have to tell you, as a woman with short legs: tailors. i know. i know, that sucks. i know it's just another bill. but, i'm telling you. the other thing i have to tell you is: express. they are very helpful with the pants, and they have some pretty sensible-yet-fashionable shirts.

    on an unrelated-to-your-post-but-still-said note: the thing is, that nobody ever tells you, once you start working real jobby-jobs, you have to start actually paying money and actually going to stores and actually wincing when you hear the price rather than heartily congratulating yourself on another dollar-fifty well spent on a shirt that says "Grandview Grandparents Club" and then wearing said shirt to work.

    Godspeed, President Washington.

     
  • At 01 August, 2005 11:55, Blogger lemonscarlet said…

    I read your entry and swiftly clicked on "comment", knowing this was, in fact, a job for me...and to my delight, Cat had called it, and paved the way for me, so here goes.

    Two words: ANN TAYLOR.

    Two more words (or rather an initial and a word): J. Crew.

    I would guess that ytou wear somewhere between a size 2 and 4. These sizes are easily found in both of these stores. You may have to have pants hemmed. In this, I defer to Cat. The one bodily thing besides boobs that I am blessed with is legs that are the exact length for which they make regular pants and therefore, have never had anything hemmed.

    You probably do not need ot wear suits every day....Man, I hope not because if you do, be prepared to drop a grand on enough suits ot get you through. (five suits is recommended...just rotate through and once you've worn them twice, dry cleaning!)

    If you do not have to wear suits, buy one for very important meetings and then invest in at least three good pairs of pants : black, grey, khaki (plain front...NO pleats!) and three plain skirts (black and/or grey of varying lengths although none above the knee is suggested.) Shirts, use your judgement of course, but those tried and true long sleeve or 3/4 lenth button downs are affordable and look crisp. Find these at Old Navy, Gap and Banana Republic (ascending order of price and quality) A good jacket for each season is a good idea and you can easily wear it once a week with different pieces. Suggest black or off-white. Need more info, email me. Lemonscarlet@gmail.com

     
  • At 02 August, 2005 15:37, Blogger Class of 2000 officers said…

    thank you ladies.

    you have saved me from department store depression. i, too, frequent the stores of thrift, and therefore was highly unqualified for the task at hand.

    i go now, to the mall, with confidence. (and a list!!)

    thanks again,
    lt

     
Post a Comment
<< Home
 
About Me

Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

About Me:
See my complete profile

Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004.

Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.

for our boss.
i'm glad you're here.
for public officials, etc.
welcome wagon.
buzz.

"The perfect amount ... of panache."

-- Blogspot's Mae Klingler

"Funny and insightful..."

--Diaryland's Lemonscarlet

"I read your blog the other day."

--Jim Woods, Dispatch reporter

"You're not putting that on the Internet, are you?"

--family and friends

we must stop meeting like this.
klingler. rankin. strader. Nadine. i talked to her once and she was hilarious. jessm. Do the Dew. newbie. SJP. welcome to earf. the original spiderman. not safe around house plants. pencils from heaven. aholeonapc. e-normal. nevada. Look, ma. KT. name without a face. knows how to party. secret reading. bobservations. filipiak boy. filipiak girl. My sis, the blonde. Wogan's Heroes.
on notice.
blagers.
blager girls. blager boy.
i heart internets.
passiveagressivenotes. apostrophe abuse. literally the best thing on the Web. too much cute.
previously on.
you saw it here first.
visuals.

theteet in pictures.

i heart internet two.
for pervs. freestyle nollie. free love freeway. NEW AMAZING FOOTAGE. jesus the hot air balloon. bubbles. aokusa. Gold Pants. fashion. Watch This Movie. the man who is always there for you is always here. Lambuel. cartoons. farming is fun!

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

BLOGGER