2.7.07
Two for the Record
One:
Friday morning, I awoke and sleepily let Maybel out as I normally do.
I watched as the pig moseyed her way over to the barn, where a large mama deer happened to be standing in the morning fog.
Instead of fleeing, the deer froze, and Maybel the Great Deer Hunter remained oblivious.
I couldn't stop watching as Maybel walked closer and closer. What would happen if she walked right into the thing? She was about two feet from the deer when she stopped for a morning poo.

It was a picturesque country living moment. Maybel taking a big, steamy crap beside a grazing deer.

Ah, Knox County.

Two:
Also, this was one of the better weekends on the farm. We worked outside both days in the garden, elbow-deep in dirt, occasionally singing hymns and probably some similar tunes sung early in our country's history. Only we aren't slaves. The tiller is too loud and vibratey, so we hoed and cultivated by hand. My back hurts and my hands are blistered and strangely stained with mud. I can't get the dirt off, despite several rounds of scrubbing. Don't know what the deal is there. The carrots are starting to happen!

We took two drives, one on Friday and one on Sunday so that Seth could brainwash me. It worked. By the end, I was saying things like "We've GOT to get ourselves some lambs. And a cow!" We happened upon the Velvet Ice Cream Making Place in Newark and split a turtle sundae. They were having some sort of festival, as some dude was singing God Bless the USA. I tried to avoid looking at the clowns.

In the car, among many topics discussed, I attempted to bury the tragedies of 2007 with a big sigh of relief and said something along the lines of
l-jo: It's been a rough six months and I'm really worn out but I have this weird feeling things might be looking up.
steter: you crazy woman and your emotions
l-jo: ?
steter:
steter: let's get a horse and buggy so we can ride it into the farmer's market.
l-jo: did you just call me crazy for saying i was sad about my dead grandpa and then suggest we purchase a horse and buggy to ride around Mount Vernon?
steter: that sounds like something you'd put up about me on your blog.

Labels: ,

posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:50 AM  
7 Comments:
  • At 02 July, 2007 07:51, Blogger Merlin said…

    Wonderful choice of photos at the right there, LJo. Question - why am I the only one who's identified by my complete name? A little scary... and you spelled my first name wrong as well. L-I-N-S-L-Y.

     
  • At 02 July, 2007 11:08, Blogger Brittiny said…

    Loving the user guide lover! I actually laughed out loud at work. In turn I had to read everyone what you wrote about me. So true.

    Tell Steter he is the crazy one, but we love him anyway. ;-)

     
  • At 02 July, 2007 12:43, Blogger WJ Melville said…

    Yeah, I need a new headshot.

    That greasy, bloated visage ain't gonna cut it, no way, no how.

    I'll get back to you...

    ...though this might work:

    http://www.wpca.com/Web%20ADS/billy_melville_2006.htm

     
  • At 02 July, 2007 16:08, Blogger captain cool said…

    add your blog to my loves. I'm addicted.

     
  • At 02 July, 2007 20:00, Blogger Unknown said…

    I'm glad your carrots are happening. Every thing I've had has been eaten by squirrels, birds or deer. In fact, when I got home today, a complete FLOCK of birds flew out of my garden. Which is only 8 by 10 feet.

    Everything...yellow peppers, tomatoes (all 7 kinds), strawberries, raspberries, lettuce and herbs.

    So I've started calling wildlife by their rightful names...urban bitches.

    Maybe Farmer Teet can give me some advice. I'm not above getting a BB gun. (I'm all talk.)

    Can I record you saying you love me?

     
  • At 04 July, 2007 18:47, Blogger crankin said…

    look who's dropping the ball now.

     
  • At 05 July, 2007 11:49, Blogger Class of 2000 officers said…

    whhhhaaaaa?

     
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user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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