every two weeks: i wanna do right but not right now.

22.3.05

i wanna do right but not right now.

wait..no...it hasn't...

has it?

So they tell me it's been a week. Seven days ago I embarked upon a journey that both kindered old flames and enlightened new paths to righteousness.

Mae took me to Nashville last week and it was super-fun! You've heard the stories, now let it be confirmed that twelve-hour road trips with Miss Klingler should be packaged and promoted at your local AAA office. She's ubers of fun. And Nashville is fun. And Gillian Welch will win you over. And David Rawlings is not as hot as everyone says - mostly just cute - And pigs are good to eat. These are some of the many truths I learned on this trip. Let's start at the BUX.

I would rather die than ever work at another Starbucks. A strong statement? yes. A reflection upon Mae's Starbucks? Absolutely not. Everyone there was real sweet, and the customers were highly entertaining. The only problem: everything was backward. (Note: not backward from the "right" way, but backward from "the 2508 Starbucks" way, and therefore highly confusing to my tiny monkey brain.) Imagine the horror of reaching for the grande lids only to find talls, or reaching for the sleeves only to find the milk pitchers - and imagine all these horrors happening just over 300 times in 8 hours. And they don't mark cups, they only mark sleeves. i didn't even know you could do this. And no matter what the bar person is doing, they only make drinks if you call them, and you cannot do this with a cup in hand. you have no cups at the register. get over it. I admire Mae for staying competent in such conditions. She was rockin the bar. i, however, felt like a total fool. I also knocked a pitcher of milk over which was hilarious, but apparently doesn't happen every ten minutes at this particular store.

Lord help me I would rather be the one saying "what the hell is she doing?" to the girl who doesn't know where anything is rather than the girl who is asking "where are the chargers?" "do you sanitize this or that?" "How many fraps do you back up in the fridge?" etc. Even though all Starbucks are "the same," let me assure you, they are, much like people, different.

So the good folks at Mae's Starbucks put up with my incompetent whining until it was time to go home. I'm not sure I made any best friends, but the evening was yet to come. we got home, watched Curb Your Enthusiasm, which is hilarious, did foot rubs (nobody does it better, baby) and ate some dinner at Wendy's after some minor discussion/complications involving a pantry, as I understood it.

The next morning, we were off. Now i don't want to tell you every detail here, because some of it is just for me. However. It was an awesome trip. It only reinforces the old lesson that the phone is dead to me and that face time is by far the best time.

Assorted moments:

Gillian Welch's Impala barreling across the gravel parking lot at us, missing the tiny Accent by inches.
Sorting through the glass-covered floor of the Accent for a pen to write a note to Miss Welch.
$7.50 Pork Sandwich aka "tiny lunch" (Damn you, delicious piggies!)
$3 Newcastle, baby. Or was it $4? Anyway, Newcastle baby.
Two truths and a lie.
Department store dresses and cowboy boots.
Pristine cowboy hats in white.
"Do you know of any good places to eat BBQ?"
While swerving off the road..."It looks like Michael Keaton"
"Now even though you are superwoman, if you decide to drive on to Columbus, I will personally wrap my hands around your neck and squeeze until you're dead if you don't call me when you get home."

There were many other things, like the tiny squint in Gillian's face when she sings that could only be noticed by those in the front row. (yeah, baby!) And there was stopping by the Country Fixens restaurant to lay a little cable. And there was the guy with his kid aka the coolest dad ever. And there was this bird - you wouldn't believe it! And there was an interesting cover of song, you may know it, by a band called Radiohead. And there was Elvis, and guitars, and other things. But I'm not going to give it to you that easy. Get your own damn memories! These are mine! I hold on to them tightly!

Have you ever cried because you miss somebody when they are in the room with you? Then you haven't had a friend like Mae Klingler.

IN THE LAST WEEK HERMAN ate his first worm, and there was no reluctance on his part. Last night we made stir-fry and watched Fraggle Rock. I learned what a Forsner bit means. Tune in next week for more on this.

posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:48 AM

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Name: Class of 2000 officers Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States About Me: See my complete profile Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004. Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.
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Name: Seth Alias: Teth Seter or Steter. In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy. Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.' Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows. Name: Maybel Alias: The Pig or Boobles. In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006. Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat. Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing. Name: Amanda Alias: The Sister. In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007. Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds. Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie. Name: mom and dad. Alias: the 'rents. In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear. Hates: hospitals. Loves: squirrels and lattes. Name: Mae Alias: Klingler or Maddog. In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry. Hates: Hate. Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening. Name: Colleen Alias: Crankin and Rankin. In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging. Hates: all drivers. Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange. Name: Talya Alias: Strader and Sweet T. In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet. Hates: people who do not comment on her blog. Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista. Name: Chris Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine. In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures. Hates: people who are looking the other way. Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms. Name: pdawg. Alias: none needed. In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency. Hates: anyone under the age of 35. Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf. Name: Linsly. Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie. In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother. Hates: sexual predators. Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes. Name: jaydubs. Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking. In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world. Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office. Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil. Name: jessica. Alias: jessm. In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now. Hates: poverty. Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts. Name: brittiny. Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap. In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take. Hates: visible pany line. Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard. Name: garth and jen. Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere. In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots. Hates: local broadcast news reporters. Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice. Name: Angie. Alias: captain cool. In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator. Hates: joe and misogynists. Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus. Name: Melville. Alias: welcome to earf or bad town. In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me. Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird. Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits. Name: The Gerish. Alias: The Gerish. In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall. Hates: Things that aren't crackers. Loves: crackers. Name: Dennis. Alias: secret reading. In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming. Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard. Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.