14.3.05
we are the proud owners of six clamps.
i am ready to talk to you now.

Seth and I have been building a workbench. And yes, we wear those outfits during construction. The problem is that you have to have a workbench to build a workbench. The other problem is that we live in a tiny, four-room apartment. Luckily, the rooms are somewhat giant. The kitchen floor and the coffee table do well for workspace. There are no electric tools in this process. We are learning to cut straight lines with a Japanese saw and chip giant mortise and tenon joints with chisel and mallet. I know that a rip saw cuts with the grain and a cross-cut saw cuts (you guessed it) across the grain. Does anybody think this is weird?

I understand now why the son of god was a carpenter. It takes an amazing amount of patience to build things out of wood. You have to, as old man Werther would say, "See it in the wood." I wonder if Jesus would have been as distracted as I was during the premiere of John Stamos' new show on ABC.

My dad has been coaching us via cell phone and internet. It is so cute. The smell and the sawdust in our apartment remind me of hanging out with him. I think it's ultra cool that when i called my dad and told him we found bench plans in a book by some dude named Scott Landis at the Taunton Press, he said "Oh yeah, i've got it right here. Is it a Klausz bench?" If you don't know who these people are, you should rent the VHS at your local library.

Colleen, you will be so proud of me when you see this thing.

In other news, i overuse this particular transition.

I'm headed down south tomorrow. Gonna get me a Klingler and steal her away to Nash Vegas. That is, if the fever doesn't get her first. But before we leave, I get to work in her BUX. I've never worked in another Starbucks before. I'm worried because i don't know how to call drinks very well. We don't so much do that in my store. It's more like "Hey Greg, you're up," or "Hey Nancy, your latte is ready," or "Hey Will, Elizabeth is gay. Stop hitting on her and come get your drink....what? Too hot to be a lesbian? I don't even know what that means. Come over here and get your drink. You're holding up the line." I'm not sure this system will work as well if i have to call everybody "dude" or "chick" or "stranger." I'm not even sure that there will be gays. Iced Decaf Venti Vanilla Nonfat No Foam Latte. This is all I have to remember. We'll see how it goes. Can't wait to get my hands on that Verissimo, or what we La Marzocco users call the "Millennium Falcon 2099."

A fun game is to see how sad you can sing the alphabet. One of you get the guitar, and the other one, start singing. Stretch out the notes and see if you can make each other cry. "G" is by far the most depressing note in the song. Followed closely by "P." Man, that one's a downer.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 3:36 PM  
3 Comments:
  • At 14 March, 2005 17:08, Blogger crankin said…

    lyndsey, i miss you bragging about my loft. simply having it is a point of shame for me. i tend to try to keep the fact that i built it under wraps, i feel that if they all knew, the shame would be almost unbearable. i am proud of you for branching off and starting to use your own creative workworking genius. before long, you will be designing things all on your own. oh how i am so proud!

     
  • At 15 March, 2005 10:09, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Lyndsey, everyone here would certainly appreciate more references to the Millenium Falcon. Please act accordingly.

    And can we see some pictures of you two in your work outfits?

    And what if we want to sponsor you in the walk but don't want to sign up on the thing where you donate? Is that possible? Thank you.

     
  • At 18 March, 2005 09:25, Blogger Class of 2000 officers said…

    hello anonymous.

    sure, you can pledge me offline.

    not sure i've ever said that before.

    anyway, email me @ lj200100@ohio.edu, and i'll give you my address, or you can call me if you know me. is this ryan?

    I'll see what i can do about your other requests. Thank you an have a nice day.

     
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I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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