14.3.08
and i can't even secure jobs that have been offered to me.
 oh. my. gawd. this proabably represents 1/10 of the sum:

From:     Lyndsey Teter
To:     *SNP Edit ALL
Date:     3/12/08 12:21PM
Subject:     Mission Accomplished.
As chief legal counsel for Katie Dodson, I have been advised to cordially invite everyone in the newsroom to drink a celebratory (virgin) Irish Car Bomb in her honor on Friday, March 14 at Patrick J's Bar and Grill, 2711 N High St in Clintonville, Ohio 43202.
Miss Dodson has secured a job in the non-profit sector and will be dearly departing SNP after more than a year of dedicated service on Tuesday, March 18.
Gatherin' starts at quittin' time. Patio dancing begins roughly at 9.
From:     Lyndsey Teter
To:     *Photo;  *SNP Edit ALL
Date:     11/27/07 10:16AM
Subject:     choose your own adventure
Nikki Bornhorst and David Cross are leaving and/or have left us. If you like Bikki more, go to paragraph A. If you prefer David, see paragraph B.
Paragraph A
After five years and at least one memorable (almost!) divorce party, Bikki Nornhorst will be leaving for greener pastures. Beginning -- tomorrow! -- she'll wander the money-lined tunnels of Shittelle, dabbling in philanthropy and/or going on all-night shoe shopping binges. Please join us Friday to toast her long and celebrated career at SNP. We will be meeting at Patrick J's after work. You better show up, or she'll buy you.
Paragraph B
Cross is leaving.
Let's get Krunked!
PJs. Friday after work.
 <>>From:  Jennifer Noblit To: Ades, Richard;  Aurand, Lisa;  Bishop, Garth;  Bornhorst, Nikki;  Corvo, Kevin;  Cross, David;  Dodson, Katie;  Gerish, Matt;  Haskins, Marc;  Johnson, Tim ;  Jones, Greg;  Konczal, Jeffery;  Krumlauf, Tim;  Kubera, Rosemary;  Laycock, Dennis;  Liebendorfer, Bret;  Meyer, Joe;  Perrin, Khalila;  Proctor, Lisa;  Radcliff, Kathleen;  Somers, Meredith;  Teter, Lyndsey;  Todd, Lindsay;  Willis, Pamela;  Wiltshire, Cliff;  Wray, Jennifer Date:  8/15/07 3:00PM Subject:  So Long Handbook be damned, I just wanted to say bye and let you know it was nice working with and getting to know you all. I'm sure Teter will not fail in her party planning obligations, but my goodbye party will be next Thursday at Patrick J's. If you don't show up and say goodbye properly we'll all talk about how you had something in your teeth that one time.

 From:     Lyndsey Teter
To:     *Photo;  *SNP Edit ALL
Date:     4/26/07 5:10PM
Subject:     save the date!
CC:     Coyle, Melany;  Palcsak, Terri;  Tonar, Bil
We will be at Patrick J's Thursday, May 3 after work to celebrate Miss Katy Waters' departure to edit the First Business Magazine, as I understand it. Come or else! I hear this lady has been working with us for four years, and she don't take no sassin'.
-- party email written by LYNDSEY TETER with reports from JENNY WRAY
.
From:     Lyndsey Teter
To:     *SNP Edit ALL
Date:     4/4/07 11:32AM
Subject:     fun with fenner
 Holly Fenner, known in some elite social circles as "Hot Softball Girl" is leaving us for greener pastures and fantastic OSU bennies in a mere 48 hours.
I have been a slacker getting this email out, but we will be gathering in her honor right after work on (Good) Friday at Patrick J's. Come hang out with her while she's still associating with non-university types.
.
>>> Lyndsey Teter 02/22/07 01:12 PM >>>
 we'll be celebrating Angie's departure after work at the usual spot on Friday.
Stop by Patrick J's tomorrow to send this lady off with the same classically trendy no-nonsense style she brought to our newsroom each day. She will be greatly missed in the war-torn wasteland once known as the Estrogen Circle. And beyond, I'm guessing.
Perhaps she, like her predecessor, will come back to us with a hot Youngstownian bride in tow. In the meantime, Friday @ PJ's. Do it. And while you're at it, email Joe to ask for a casual day, because I've already played that card this month.
/  >>> Lyndsey Teter 02/14/07 01:31PM >>>
(Exclusive email invite edition)
Hey all -
While the rest of you slackers were home during Tuesday's Level Two snowstorm, it seems the talented Miss Brittiny Dunlap was able to leave this company after two-and-a-half years for the competition without spurring any sign of hatred or defamation of character.
Although our sweet Dunlap has left the building, she will be available for exit interviews Friday after work at Patrick J's.
Please join us in celebrating her time with us. (and/or to drown your sorrows at the news of her departure. whichever works)
Chris, as social coordinator of the sports department, you are responsible for telling the friendly sports reporters. Ben, you've been elected to help me tell those crazy photo kids. It's like herding cats over there.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 11:08 AM  
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Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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