every two weeks: this looks totally nothing like us

19.2.08

this looks totally nothing like us

As captured by the pencil blog, we see Jen Noblit's impression of Seth Teter's impression of print journalists:

As the legend goes, in the year 2006, a group of journalists were gathered at a quaint home in Clintonville chatting fondly of work, life and love when Teth Seter, a non-journalist, proceeded to take a long drag off an imaginary cigarette, barking "F#*%!ing ...City Council..." Stunned, the group decided that he looked absolutely nothing like us. We're a notoriously underpaid and endearing bunch, aren't we? Now, we're being asked to do more. Newspapers, I've been told, have been plagued with staff cutbacks. The Dispatch once could pay people to sit in a room all day to comb through documents, or so a similar legend goes, but nowadays, we're expected to be accurate by instinct, not by, say, taking the time to double-check the facts. Inspiring facts from E&P:

Media employment in December fell to a 15-year low at 886,900, "slammed by the slumping newspaper industry," AdAge.com reports. "Since media employment peaked in dot-com-infused 2000, media companies have eliminated one in six jobs (167,600)."
"The big problem is newspapers," which account for half (82,800) of media jobs lost since 2000. One in four newspaper jobs have disappeared since newspaper employment peaked in 1990.

So two items have emerged this week that have made me smile:

One, from Jaydubs, a crack-like addictive find/whinefest, (only nine days old!) including two that sum up this profession perfectly:

Angry Journalist #283:
Do I have act like an asshole to convince my newsroom that a human interest story about first-time marathoners is at least as important as the f*@%ing beagle story that is a week old!!!

and

Angry Journalist #294:
I should have gone to refrigeration school.

Hilarious. The second is from the Farrago, who shares an article outlining indicators that you work at a lousy job. This one doesn't actually apply to me, but it's a fun game for everyone else out there with lousy jobs:

Here are six true-life signs that you shouldn't stick around at your new job. 1. You ask your new boss for supplies and she hands you a No. 2 pencil and legal pad -- and nothing else. Not every company has the budget to give you an expense account, a BlackBerry and a cutting-edge laptop, but you should be equipped with the tools necessary to perform your job. A company experiencing financial troubles might be so stingy with supplies that you spend more time worrying about the company books than working. 2. You were shown to a cubicle your first day of work, given a company manual and haven't spoken to anyone since. Any good employer trains new hires during their first few days on the job. Although you might have years of experience, each company has its own procedures and expectations that you won't magically know without some instruction. From the first day, your new employer should make it clear that you have a network of support ready to help you and answer any questions. 3. You get the same reaction every time you tell someone about your new job and employer: Raised eyebrows and "Really? ... Good luck with that." You know better than to believe gossip, but sometimes a company's reputation speaks too loudly to ignore. If friends, colleagues and people in the industry consistently give negative feedback about the company, there's probably a legitimate reason. At the start of your job search, research which companies have the best reputations and which have the worst. 4. After two weeks on the job, you are already halfway to becoming the employee with the most seniority. One of the reasons the country's top companies have employees who have been around for years is that people will stay where they're appreciated and treated well, and they'll leave when they're not. "I joined a firm in St. Louis and learned that the company had seven other employees come and go in the past year," says Sarah, a public relations executive. "What's worse is that it was only a five-person operation. That should have been the first sign that the company was not a great place to work." 5. You answer the phone while the company's secretary is away from her desk and find that the voice at the other end is a collection agency calling for the third time that week. While this sounds unbelievable, this actually happened to one worker, who said other employees at the company were eventually instructed to not answer the phones. "It became a joke with all of us," she says. "We used to run out and cash our checks as soon as we got paid and were always afraid that they were going to bounce!" If you see any signs that your company is in real financial or legal trouble, don't wait for layoffs; get your résumé back out on the market. 6. You notice that every day for the last week, at least one person has run crying from your boss's office. Not every boss is the kind of person you want to be best friends with, but you should show each other respect. If you can't have a conversation with your boss without being yelled at, don't feel obligated to stick around. A good company uses open communication, not fear and intimidation, to get results. It may take a few days, weeks or even months to realize the new job isn't right for you. The key is to recognize the signs and leave when you can. If you have a bad gut feeling the first morning you report for work, listen to it. Better to move on than to find yourself still waiting for conditions to improve five years from now.

posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 3:43 PM

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Name: Class of 2000 officers Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States About Me: See my complete profile Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004. Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.
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Name: Seth Alias: Teth Seter or Steter. In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy. Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.' Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows. Name: Maybel Alias: The Pig or Boobles. In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006. Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat. Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing. Name: Amanda Alias: The Sister. In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007. Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds. Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie. Name: mom and dad. Alias: the 'rents. In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear. Hates: hospitals. Loves: squirrels and lattes. Name: Mae Alias: Klingler or Maddog. In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry. Hates: Hate. Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening. Name: Colleen Alias: Crankin and Rankin. In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging. Hates: all drivers. Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange. Name: Talya Alias: Strader and Sweet T. In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet. Hates: people who do not comment on her blog. Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista. Name: Chris Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine. In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures. Hates: people who are looking the other way. Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms. Name: pdawg. Alias: none needed. In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency. Hates: anyone under the age of 35. Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf. Name: Linsly. Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie. In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother. Hates: sexual predators. Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes. Name: jaydubs. Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking. In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world. Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office. Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil. Name: jessica. Alias: jessm. In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now. Hates: poverty. Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts. Name: brittiny. Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap. In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take. Hates: visible pany line. Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard. Name: garth and jen. Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere. In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots. Hates: local broadcast news reporters. Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice. Name: Angie. Alias: captain cool. In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator. Hates: joe and misogynists. Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus. Name: Melville. Alias: welcome to earf or bad town. In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me. Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird. Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits. Name: The Gerish. Alias: The Gerish. In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall. Hates: Things that aren't crackers. Loves: crackers. Name: Dennis. Alias: secret reading. In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming. Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard. Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.