17.4.07
sometimes i can't help but be reminded
of people who email me me pictures of themselves.

Ladies and gentleman, this is J-Wray. Cub reporter and senior writer at SNP/CoMo/TOP/CEO/every other publication housed within these walls sans Mid Ohio Golfer(1998-2007)

You will know her by the way she loves bunnies. and vegetables. but not mushrooms. doesn't trust the texture.

To deter her from publishing "A blog explaining why Lyndsey Teter is Pure Evil," or at least to make her feel bad while she puts the finishing touches on it, I've decided to make all-encompassing list of the things I love most about Miss J-Wray.

1. She and her boyfriend Kyle are gay together.
2. J-Wray is very eloquent. She uses adult words that mesmerize me. Not "adult" like "porn" but "adult" like "one who has lived enough to maintain a decent vocabulary."
3. She is dynamite crafter. I have seen shirts, hand towels, necklaces, scarves -- and one time she told me about this baby bib she made that was totally underappriciated but likely very awesome.
4. She has a maximum capacity for crazy personal news. It's pretty much a guarantee she will not throw hot tea in your face at the Chinese restaurant.
5. She has hilarious foot-in-the-mouth disease.
6. She lets me make uninformed jokes about Judaism, vegetarians and groups associated with preventing cruelty to animals.
7. She has a compassion for animals that could rival PETA. Except she's not a total loony tune. (!) Once, there was this baby bird at the side of the road and she almost rescued it. If only we could channel that good will toward beast, bottle it and sprinkle it near the Middle East, there would be no more war.
8. She pretty much invented *this*
9. Cappuccino glasses, headbands, socks and ballerina shoes from target, among others.
10. An inclination for puns.

This list has been truncated.
I can't tell you about what she told me on a car ride to Cincinnati. And I can't really waste a bullet point on how fun her dog is. Or her boyfriend's band. or her cupcakes. from scratch! Anyway, you get the idea.

This should be developed into a 431-part series. Better Know My Friends, anyone?

Labels:

posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 8:46 AM  
4 Comments:
  • At 17 April, 2007 12:20, Blogger Betsy Yates said…

    I'm game. Let 'er rip.
    Perhaps your next installment will be on the writer of Stunted Growth, aka "Grumpy Bear," which he was called at a former newspaper in Ohio?

     
  • At 17 April, 2007 14:59, Blogger A. Nonnymuss said…

    JWray DID write for Mid Ohio Golfer. and more than once.

    let's not bore people with this
    Bear fellow.

     
  • At 17 April, 2007 18:33, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hey, I know her.

     
  • At 18 April, 2007 11:04, Blogger Class of 2000 officers said…

    i will have to wait until i find ten things about Stunted Growth I could post without getting him arrested. I'm at 2.5 so far.

    Grumpy bear, I stand corrected, re: JW's involvment with MOG (2006)
    Please forgive us.

    also, J-do, yes. Jenny is of the Matt Hale Era at OU.

    theteet.blogspot.com: bringing people together. (bobcats only!)

     
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user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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