1.1.06
2005: The ReMix
Happy 2006 everybody!

We shall not forget you, 2005. You were hot and cold. You were comfortable and terrifying. You were sober and under the influence. You were...

January:

Back in the old apartment, working as a barista, mild depression set in following several days of below-zero temperatures. I owned, fed and loved my hedgehog. Our car was broken into. I slammed my finger in the blender thingy. I thought of you.

February:

Much to the chagrin of family and friends, I picked up a hitchhiker. I promised her groceries but never delivered. I sliced my hand with a hot butcher knife, resulting in three (or was it four?) stitches. I continued to serve mochas to the best of my ability.

March:

Mae and I went to NashVegas for an extreme close-up of Gillian Jillian Welch. Seth and I built a workbench. I tried to win Collen's love. We knocked Sean's $100 decorative plates of the walls. We celebrated our victory against high-maintenance gays.

April:
And unto our family a child was born. Baby Jacob came into the world. He still cannot read. I drunkenly mourned free movie passes, as my wallet, license, credit cards and all were stolen from the High Beck Tavern. I vow to avenge the missing items. Nothing ever comes of this vow.

*May:

Before we finished moving into our new apartment, we bought a dog and I went to Costa Rica. Upon my return, I attempted to meet Jon Stewart. Our neighbors gain magical powers by having sex with cats. The whole thing was completely insane.

June:

I considered myself lucky to have acquired dear dear friends at the coffee shop. I loved them. We spoke every day.
After a year of dedicated service, I received a "verbal warning" from a shift manager for oversleeping. This began the spiral into angry coffee shop girl hell -- well, that and the return of Frappacino season.

**July:

Sweet baby jesus, it was hot. We had no air conditioning. We survived -- barely -- and remained un-divorced. I chopped down a tree and secured a new job. Seth convinced me that girls didn't have spleins. We became eGodparents. My effing car got towed.

August:

Our one-year anniversary romp in Amish country. I cried on the first day of my new job. A strange man began camping in our back yard. I turned 23. It was better than it sounds.

***September:

The harvest. Disaster struck in our family in the form of our first irreversible health condition. Our Maybel contracted demodectic mange. (I know -- it totally looks like 'demonic.') There was too much death. Maybel became a woman. In preparation for fall, I had several Blue Moons.

October:

I began to like Brittiny. Maybel puked on my neck while I was asleep. I threw an axe into the ground. I saw a flash of Talya. Olivia left for Oregon. I drank a whole bottle of white tequila. My husband turned 24.

*4X November:

one and two

December:

Jim Petro lost my vote. I learned your crush. I saw the PUTZ. Christmas came and went in a few short days. Kate and Aaron announced their pregnancy. We called it Jesse. Seth and I lost terribly in several board games. Our love waned.

* Winner -- Best Month of the Year By Far.
** Winner -- Most Accomplished Despite Hellish Weather Conditions.
*** Winner --Most Blood in One Sitting.
*4X Winner - Month Best Represented By Photos.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:09 PM  
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Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

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Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004.

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Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.

for our boss.
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for public officials, etc.
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"The perfect amount ... of panache."

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--Jim Woods, Dispatch reporter

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--family and friends

we must stop meeting like this.
klingler. rankin. strader. Nadine. i talked to her once and she was hilarious. jessm. Do the Dew. newbie. SJP. welcome to earf. the original spiderman. not safe around house plants. pencils from heaven. aholeonapc. e-normal. nevada. Look, ma. KT. name without a face. knows how to party. secret reading. bobservations. filipiak boy. filipiak girl. My sis, the blonde. Wogan's Heroes.
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theteet in pictures.

i heart internet two.
for pervs. freestyle nollie. free love freeway. NEW AMAZING FOOTAGE. jesus the hot air balloon. bubbles. aokusa. Gold Pants. fashion. Watch This Movie. the man who is always there for you is always here. Lambuel. cartoons. farming is fun!

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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