13.11.05
it has started something in me
hands down, best kiss goes to seth teter. (there is another scene here, with seth on the podium, a crowd of thousands snapping pictures, national anthem playing, tears streaming down his face, second and third place equally as proud, but grumbling none the less...) and i'm not just saying that.

it was june. i was at home exhausted from an entire day spent together. we had been searching for waterfalls or canoeing or something typical like that. i got a call around 10 p.m. he said he was sorry, but he just got a last-minute offer from trevis (bottom left -- watch out ladies)and the two were going to tour with byron keith for the summer. that's another story. anyway they were leaving for nashville or the carolinas or something. in eight hours. he had to get packing.

a few minutes later, he showed up on my porch and we went for a drive. we were not yet dating.

while walking along some silent country road, we kissed for the first time. how it actually happened is still up to debate. i think it was all him. he blames me. i'll always remember him making the first move. it took forever.

after that, he reluctantly dropped me off at home, and i didn't see him again for quite a few weeks. this left me with plenty of time to think about what had happened. i have never been such a girl in my life. it was ridiculous. i was a lifeguard at the time. i'm pretty sure 14 children drowned while i was up in that chair, baking in the summer sun and smiling to myself.

isn't that fun?

best hug was probably my freshman year of college. the first two weeks at OU i was completely terrified. finally one weekend, my boyfriend at the time drove the seven million hours to visit me. i remember getting the call from the callbox downstairs. i sprinted down the three flights of truedley hall stairs to greet him. we hugged the hug of two people booted from the comfortable town they'd grown up in. it was a hug of desperation and then relief. i'm pretty sure i clung to him for several hours. neither of us had any idea what we'd gotten ourselves into. i was completely unsure where i was headed. everyone can take a second to grieve if you know the rest of the story.

what else do we have?

it's hard to pinpoint the best joke i've ever heard, but again, i think seth might take the prize with this one as well. There is a tie between two jokes. One was actually back in high school -- the moment i set him apart as someone i 'd want to kiss someday. and this is why. (what this says about me, you'll have to decide.)

it was the first night of the school play. we were both stationed in the makeshift orchestra pit. he was on trombone. i had was the person on the small stool beside him who wore black and shouted out lines when amanda meriweather forgot them. it was dark and completely silent. our band director, which you will have to know to completely understand the joke, was wearing a tight black turtleneck. his nips were visible. he lifted his arms to cue the band to begin. it was a tense and serious moment. seth leaned over and whispered -- "now is zee time in sprockets ven vee dance."

lord have mercy.

I tried to delay the burst of pee until the music started. i think a little trickle made it out anyway. it was the longest half millisecond of my life.

second best joke ever is simple to explain. (mae - you can skip this paragraph) we had been dating for a while. we were eating in a german restaurant. he was served a variety of sausages. one long sausage and two smaller round sausages served on a bed of rice. someone back in the kitchen must have been bored. very provacative. if you're with me so far, imagine the following:
seth: i don't know if i can eat this meal. it's not kosher.
lyndsey: (barely holding her composure as it was) what?
seth: (cutting the tip of the sausage with his fork and knife.) there we go. now it is.

what this says about me, I'll let you decide. stay tuned next week for dancing and fighting evil with good, among others.

ok,ok. now you go.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 12:13 AM  
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Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

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I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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