not sure how many layers there will be. the thing is starting to get cluttered. it makes me nervous. also, i wish i had different sized letters. that's all i can think of right now. except for the shoes? yeah, those are mine. sorry.
Guys, I'm really pretty happy despite what I post here. I heart the world. I only get annoyed at what I do with what has been given to me. Does that make sense? I hope nobody worries or gets annoyed at the pessimism.
Besides, (those of you who really know me may have been expecting this) I cut my hair a little!
on bibles. or why being 23 is exactly what they told me it would be.
or (Mother, cover your ears.)Fuck You Very Much, November.
i had such a good quote for a blog title a second ago.
it was lyrics.
dammit.
anyway, so in response to Nadine. (ha!) Chris, and anyone can answer here, does it feel like God moves much more slowly after college?
I feel like change came so quickly in college. Twelve weeks brought out an entirely different person in me. There was always some new concept or perspective to wrap my head around. Some new wisdom. Some new parable. Or at least some new class. But now? nothing!
I have not changed in 2 years. Was it the internet that did this to me? I feel I have not grown aside from knowing what it's like to live with and love a man, obviously. But he's not enough. I have relied soley on him for comfort. I have become way too comfortable in my couch nest, watching television and blogging, with seth building something in the basement.
We make beautiful bowls and pens now, did I tell you?
I feel I am being primed for some big change or some big defeat or some great victory!
What the heck is happening here? Is it winter? Is it movement?
God has been so quiet. I don't know if it's because I'm painting the book of James or what, but I feel motivated for you, brother. We are on the bleeding cusp!
I'm telling you, sons of bitches, watch Lord of the Rings.
An earlier point: God moves slowly after college.
I have become increasingly lazy. Has he taken all he can from me?
In the meantime, reality says I am going to clean the shit out of my hedgehog's wheel, do some dishes. some laundry. and i'm going to finish my resume. there is an opening i want to pursue.
young people are dying all around us. are you next? what will the reporters say about you?
sidenote: if i die violently or unexpectedly, and reporters come knocking, please PLEASE talk to them. They hate what they have to do as much as you hate hearing from them. Tell them everything. Tell them about the drowning/decapitation/knife/strip club/boozing/parade float that killed me. Give them all the details. Conside this my dying wish. Refer them to this blog.
strike that. say it. and say it often. it makes you remember that it's not. let's start over.
i am just finishing up the first film in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. We watched two and three yesterday.
It's winter everyone! Time to curl up with Viggo Mortensen and dream of the passions and dragons you'll have in the spring.
ahhh, yes. so life. i guess dull weeks at work and at home with dishes and bills are all what you make of it. these things are a small part, not the whole. which is evident as you read the bible, resist a nap, make a list.
i feel stronger. less bored. maybe this is just the LOTR talking, i don't know.
for that last 2 weeks, i have taken a strange approach to reading the bible.
i am painting the book of james.
one letter at a time! on the same canvas, even. i have barely gotten through the first chapter. it is painstakingly slow. i am hoping to memorize at least some of it along the way.
consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. perseverance must finish its work in you so that you may be matures and complete, not lacking anything.
this is all i have so far.
logistically, for those who are confused, i have these little stamp-like letters that i dip in paint. they are a typewriter font. i continue to the bottom of the canvas, and then start at the top in a different color, stamping over my previous letters. i believe the whole things will look very neat once i'm finished. if i decide to do the whole chapter, it should be pretty thick on the canvas. i'll learn something along the way in the process?
I'll keep you posted.
how was thanksgiving for you?
we had a relaxing time in washington court house. jacob, my little nephew, is already 6 feet tall. last night, we spent some time with good and old friends.
it is very important (and totally normal) to determine an outfit will look all right on your child before you purchase it. i don't want to waste an important resource like money on an untested ebay purchase.
if i work here another 5 years, i will probably still be making much less than a teacher or a firefighter or a librarian or a pharmacist or a lawyer or a manager at citgo or a surgeon. i will probably pull in a bit more cash than a starving artist. or an unemployed factory worker.
does this matter?
i like my job. if seth ever beats me, i don't make enough to live on my own. but i'm not worried about that. (sorry dad, i know you told me this was a requirement, but.) so, am i supposed to like, stay here, for a few years, until something else comes along? is that how adulthood works? you just stay in one place for at least like 5 years, then you have some babies, take some time off and then come back to the same job? and then maybe get promoted or go elsewhere?
is this the deal?
you work and then you have weekends off and then you look forward to the one or two weeks a year where you don't have to do any work? and then there is thanksgiving and christmas? and watching your nephew grow up? is that the deal?
no trimesters?
no rotating of schedules ever 12 weeks?
i don't get it.
all i know is that i'm 23, and these are the good years. we're young and babyless and probably should be like, riding zebras in africa or something, right? planning a trip to europe? writing non-fiction novels? shit, man. we only have 7 more years (less than that!) until i'm 30. i've never been to california!
remember in athens when we composed that list our senior year of things we needed to get done before we left, i.e. Purple Chopsticks, OU basketball game...that one inn or bed and breakfast or something....and we never actually did these things, but at least we had a list and i took comfort in that. plus, a lot of other unexpected things came up like severed cat heads, trips to larry's dawg house and ultimate frisbee games, and those needs had to be tended immediately.
in other words, i need a list. a goal. a direction. a vision.
i need one of these multi-million dollar 'master plans' like all the suburbs are coming up with. i don't want to be another victim of eminent domain.
and you know what the worse part is? I NEVER LEARNED TO READ.
don't hold yourself like that. you'll hurt your knees.
i'm sorry to be posting so much, but it's getting cold and therefore time to turn off the lights, bust out the wine, chunks of bread, cheese, and put on a good compact disk or record. i was just wondering...has anyone heard/purchased the new sigur ros cd? i was considering it, but it seems that every cd i buy legally ends up sucking terribly. i am cursed.
other cds on my wishlist include most recent albums of: bright eyes damien rice kings of convenience
hands down, best kiss goes to seth teter. (there is another scene here, with seth on the podium, a crowd of thousands snapping pictures, national anthem playing, tears streaming down his face, second and third place equally as proud, but grumbling none the less...) and i'm not just saying that.
it was june. i was at home exhausted from an entire day spent together. we had been searching for waterfalls or canoeing or something typical like that. i got a call around 10 p.m. he said he was sorry, but he just got a last-minute offer from trevis (bottom left -- watch out ladies)and the two were going to tour with byron keith for the summer. that's another story. anyway they were leaving for nashville or the carolinas or something. in eight hours. he had to get packing.
a few minutes later, he showed up on my porch and we went for a drive. we were not yet dating.
while walking along some silent country road, we kissed for the first time. how it actually happened is still up to debate. i think it was all him. he blames me. i'll always remember him making the first move. it took forever.
after that, he reluctantly dropped me off at home, and i didn't see him again for quite a few weeks. this left me with plenty of time to think about what had happened. i have never been such a girl in my life. it was ridiculous. i was a lifeguard at the time. i'm pretty sure 14 children drowned while i was up in that chair, baking in the summer sun and smiling to myself.
isn't that fun?
best hug was probably my freshman year of college. the first two weeks at OU i was completely terrified. finally one weekend, my boyfriend at the time drove the seven million hours to visit me. i remember getting the call from the callbox downstairs. i sprinted down the three flights of truedley hall stairs to greet him. we hugged the hug of two people booted from the comfortable town they'd grown up in. it was a hug of desperation and then relief. i'm pretty sure i clung to him for several hours. neither of us had any idea what we'd gotten ourselves into. i was completely unsure where i was headed. everyone can take a second to grieve if you know the rest of the story.
what else do we have?
it's hard to pinpoint the best joke i've ever heard, but again, i think seth might take the prize with this one as well. There is a tie between two jokes. One was actually back in high school -- the moment i set him apart as someone i 'd want to kiss someday. and this is why. (what this says about me, you'll have to decide.)
it was the first night of the school play. we were both stationed in the makeshift orchestra pit. he was on trombone. i had was the person on the small stool beside him who wore black and shouted out lines when amanda meriweather forgot them. it was dark and completely silent. our band director, which you will have to know to completely understand the joke, was wearing a tight black turtleneck. his nips were visible. he lifted his arms to cue the band to begin. it was a tense and serious moment. seth leaned over and whispered -- "now is zee time in sprockets ven vee dance."
lord have mercy.
I tried to delay the burst of pee until the music started. i think a little trickle made it out anyway. it was the longest half millisecond of my life.
second best joke ever is simple to explain. (mae - you can skip this paragraph) we had been dating for a while. we were eating in a german restaurant. he was served a variety of sausages. one long sausage and two smaller round sausages served on a bed of rice. someone back in the kitchen must have been bored. very provacative. if you're with me so far, imagine the following: seth: i don't know if i can eat this meal. it's not kosher. lyndsey: (barely holding her composure as it was) what? seth: (cutting the tip of the sausage with his fork and knife.) there we go. now it is.
what this says about me, I'll let you decide. stay tuned next week for dancing and fighting evil with good, among others.
wow. this has been one of the best autumns. we took the pig down the block to cup o' joe. walking around clintonville with a coffee in your hand. perfect.
this is seriously the best time of the year. there is nothing about fall that does not please me.
it's the part where we slowly start wrapping more clothes around us. packing in before the storm. spring is good, but there's always a little reluctance to bare winter's white flesh. plus we don't have air conditioning. how romantic.
there's a girl i know who sent me the following things in the last 3 days: 1.) a photo 2.) a photo to top the aforementioned photo 3.) a CD. and not just any CD. A double-album. One that i've wanted to for years. Is there anyone sweeter? i don't think so.
miss klingler, you're an absolute delight. i'm telling you people, you get in with klinger and life is smooth like honey.
I went to a Fellers-Hen(d)rickson wedding last weekend. The drive home from hanging out with Athens friends is always hard. I think it's dusting off all these great moments in my brain. and knowing it will never ever ever be as it was in that town ever again. ever. we are old. is anyone not depressed by now?
But on the way home i was rummaging through a collection of those moments. i think it's better to think of them separately rather than how they relate to each other. then i went on this long train ride of the mind. it was good. like a montage in a movie. i think the CD that Mae sent me would make a good soundtrack for it.
Think about the best hug you've ever had.
Think about the best joke you've ever heard.
Think about the best kiss (uh-oh!).
Think about the only time you fought evil with good.
Think about the most exhausted you've ever been from dancing.
All these things happened for me in college. Now what?
(camera pans to samuel l. jackson, sitting in front of the computer, with a cigarette dangling from his mouth.)
but i mean, come on. looking at Enjoyed By Members Who Enjoyed, you'd think this would be my next favorite movie ever. i'm a little disappointed, that's all.
speaking of the talkies, Seth and I have not seen a movie in a theater since 2004. hearing this, you'd think omg! they can't live without movies! but we can. i encourage you to try. you see a preview and think omg! i have to see that - now! and then you wait. one week. two weeks. one month. two months. and soon? it's crept up to the top of your list on Netflix. and you've saved yourself 16 bucks. and you've grown. as a person. from the sacrifice.
i interviewed a few marines today. wow. where have all the cowboys gone? these boys were beefy and trimmed and gorgeous. and they had just spent the last 7 months getting shot at. with bullets. flying at their heads. watching comrades die. in war.
what on earth do you ask someone when they've just come back from iraq?
"hi. so. tell me. how was war?"
turns out most of them are upset at the media. and they all said "get the bad guys" a lot, which was scary. all at once, i was sad they might have been turned to robots and also, wow. these guys were good-looking. isn't that the worst thing you've ever heard? i think it is the high percentage of less-than-masculine boys in my life crashing head-on with this other kind of man.
i gotta go read wild at heart and kill a deer or something.
This is part of a lengthy narrative I received from an old pal at Starbucks. I wish I could share the whole thing, but that would mean violating some sort of copyright issues, I'm sure.
If robots could have babies, and one of these babies was retarded, and the retarded baby robot had a robot asshole which, instead of creating tiny, baby robot poop emitted mechanical words spoken in an uncaring and bored tone, this is what it would say. "Next in line please." The retarded baby robot's asshole would speak these words in the very same dull, slack-jawed fashion that Roman delivers them every freaking morning. Ok. Wow. Looks like I've got some issues with Roman.
and also, this one, about working at Starbucks. (It's fall...don't you miss the pumpkin spice latte just a little? Come on...I know it's in you.)
I climbed onto the register and started taking orders with this big scowl on my face, pissy attitude at the ready, but it only lasted for about two customers. Before I knew it, I was having fun. I was joking with Hicks, singing 80's classics, throwing faux-karate kicks and punches at his crotch and kidneys. The customers were in fantastic moods. Time was flying by. All of a sudden, I found that not only did I not mind being at work, I was actually enjoying being there. Holy crap, I didn't know how spoiled we were. Do you remember when going to work wasn't so much work? It was more like going to this clubhouse and playing with your friends.
He's totally right. I miss it. But I would never go back, right? How else would I make everyone back at the 'bux TOTALLY JEALOUS because I was invited to a ribbon-cutting ceremony at the newest elevated water storage tank in Etna Township. That's right, boys. While you're going down to the basement "doubled over, smacking your head on pipes and vents with bottles of vanilla syrup clenched between your knees," be jealous of my bling bling free-tour-of-the-water-and-sewage-treatment-plant lifestyle.
i am so going to have to change my name if i ever hope to say anything worthwhile on here again.
this week's random hint at a story:
two turtles. one named peas and one named carrot. apparently they both love NASCAR and Saturday morning cartoons. they are not Methodists.
ahhhhh...my insides. my insiiiides.
perhaps it's best not to talk poorly about another human being anyway.
let's talk about my dog, then, shall we?
Maybel fell down the steps to our yard and scraped her face. she came in bleeding and crying like a damn baby. right now she is climbing the arm of the couch so she can jump down onto the pillow and wrestle it. again.
finished up The Office Special, set three years after the end of the show. I actually cried. Although this time it wasn't sad tears. David Brent is amazing. and Dawn and Tim...wow.
so. mennonite church.
topic week one:
Do elephants weep? and do we care? -- a sermon on being a Biblical steward of animals. Does this mean being a vegetartian? Does this mean buying organic meat?
It was excellent. Actually, I've heard better discussions, but the fact that a church with young people and old people and everything in between was addressing the subject made me leap with joy. you know, afterward.
Seth was all fired up as a result. He has a very unique persepctive representing farmers all over Ohio. I don't think it was an accident that we showed up at 9:15 in the morning at a mennonite church where the subject was farming. I don't think that was an accident at all.
We have a really good chat with the pastor afterward. I am encouraged by what I see.
Subject week two:
Poverty. In Clintonville, Columbus, Ohio and the Nation and Beyond.
Mostly the poverty in Clintonville part excited me. local specifics and a list of real things to do about it. are you kidding me?
That is neat. (as in 'Sean. You are the same height as me,' kind of neat.)
Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.
Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.
Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.
Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.
Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.
Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.
Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.
Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.
Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.
Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.
Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.
Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.
Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.
Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.
Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.
Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.
Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.
Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.
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