12.6.05
I'd appreciate it if you would please refrain from drinking coffee at the computer station.
**** on june 23 at 12am, this post was edited for anger (you know, to fit your screen.)****


i'm getting dumber.

a little background.

it is hot. like, ninety degrees most days. our apartment complex? not wired for the three-pronged plugs. most air conditioners? take three-pronged plugs.

it is every night at six or seven in the evening. 59, 61, 57 East Arcadia residents make their way outside onto the porches for smoking, chatting, eating, drinking, guitar-playing, whittling.

me: "It's funny how we all conjugate out here every night."
my neighbor, an english professor: "what?"

Conjugate? yes. we come outside to slap different endings on verbs. every night. very nice. Ever since i started using only 16 different words a day, i've forgotten the rest of them. the more mochas i make, the dumber i get. it seeps into my brain. and the Verbal Warnings don't help.

i received a "Verbal Warning" yesterday at work for oversleeping and being late.
Umm? Fu**(all you really need to know here is that said man has just recently receiced shift supervisor status. yes. let the record state that this is all i said. let the record state also that i never used the word manchild.)

you know how i hate authority. you know how the only thing that bothers me, ironically, is when other people become bothered. we should all live in peace with each other. we should all be prepared to be screwed, and forgive those who screw us. be lucky it's not you this time. because next time, it will be. ask not what you can do for your country. rage against the machine, etc. my alarm didn't go off. yours didn't either once, twice. and i said, on the phone, and i remember, with a line out the door, "don't worry. take your time. don't speed. we'll be fine until you get here. it happens, man. it happens" i did not sit you down on your lunch time and explain why it is wrong to be late. i did not clasp my hands together and speak the way you would to a child or to a dog. i did not sit in the chair with my back perfectly straight. I did not start "Let me begin my explaining how you put us into a real bind when you arrived late this morning."

Today Maybel ate the computer cord. It shocked her, and she yelped and ran around the house a little bit. Now she cannot stop hanging her tongue out of her mouth a little bit. i'm not sure what to do about this. and i keep laughing at her, because she looks hilarious, which makes me feel like i'm going to be a terrible mother.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 7:32 PM  
1 Comments:
  • At 14 June, 2005 14:23, Blogger shorttallnotatall said…

    dear ljo. being talked down to sucks. there are a billion ways, approximately, to be talked to so as to convey the information (you were late) and still be cool about it (i.e., not be a total asshat). i'm sorry this happened to you. usually, when i'm faced with that sort of behavior, i have to clear my throat a lot and blink rapidly so as to avoid showing the crazy eyes and speaking the foul words bubbling at the back of my throat. those usually end with the phrase "piss off, [favorite explitive of the moment]." what i'm saying is, you handled it well.

     
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I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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