25.6.06
we took some pictures
of the house.


If you like things and dogs, click here.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:04 PM   1 comments
22.6.06
shit.
shit.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:45 AM   0 comments
21.6.06
it's five o clock. where are your husbands?
Maybel and i were dancing along with Ellen to the Pussycat Dolls' "Dontcha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" and it made me glad for a moment that men still run the world. I don't think situations like this would slip past the guards, otherwise.

Now we're watching duarte geraldino speak about watersheds. Downer!

Lin is living with us. It's fun to have a roommate. now people believe me when i say things like "she licks your legs as soon as you get out of the shower." This living situation does not excuse Mr. Rice from updating his blog, however. Speaking of, check out another promising young blogophile-journalist to the right. we'll put him in the middle and let him work himself up. welcome to earf, ishmael!
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 2:03 PM   0 comments
19.6.06
here's the story
as I've relayed it thus far.

I spent the weekend at the Hilton in Cincytown with Seth's company.

As I was shoving prime rib into my face between trips to and from the open bar, the Head Honcho stood up to speak, thanking all the spouses and kids for putting up with the "late hours" at the farm bureau ... without your support we wouldn't be successful, so here, have a night in a Cincinnati hotel and enjoy a Cincinnati Reds Game, motivational speaker, a friendly Amazing Race competition, etc.

A small gesture, corporately speaking, but in my book? Huge. Can you imagine a speech like that at your company? If not, pull up a chair. Plus they get Blackberrys.

There was so much generosity this weekend. Mae gave us sponsor seats at the Playhouse, and Kaz bought us liters of beer at the bier garten. The soccer game was exciting. The play was riveting. All is well.

My only regret the entire weekend? Mentioning to Seth (after, maybe, four liters of beer?) that his ticket was reserved under the name Evan DeTullio. He assumed the persona for the entire evening, including a 1.5 hour car ride to Washington Court House. Ehhh.

Can you believe we're effing moving in like ten minutes?! What am I going to do when I'm stuck out in the country, miles from civilization, and Evan DeTullio takes over again? To Patrick Js, everyone. Quickly.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 3:36 PM   0 comments
16.6.06
Don't Fug After Midnight.
I ...

posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 1:07 AM   0 comments
will there ever
be a boy born who can swim faster than a shark?
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 12:49 AM   1 comments
14.6.06
finally.
the two most beautiful people in the world have procreated.
welcome to baby judah. babies of Posh Spice beware.

posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 7:31 PM   0 comments
What sort of expression is the lad wearing on his face?
I accidentally hung up on Chris Spielman twice and I forgot a very important "e" in one of my stories. We have new plumbing but our water is coming out black. From the well spicket. Which means it's black before it goes into the house with new pipes.

Don't worry. Country water is free, which means that we can leave it on for four days until the sediment clears. Relax, ok? Seriously.

I think the first batch of home brew we open this October will be labeled Black Water Special -- fresh from the Knox County Panhandle.

Sorry if I have been a little bit freaked out and not fully paying attention to you, but Everything is ok.

Remember in Life Aquatic when Bill Murray is like “Son of a bitch, I'm sick of these dolphins.” That is totally hilarious.

Lin is moving in with us for a little bit. Or he might be our neighbor. No one knows but the property gods at Myer Real Estate.

We'll be in Cincinnati Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure why. Something about farmers and a city-wide treasure hunt. Seth has the details. The last of those days, we'll hopefully be in a pork town pub, watching a revitalized USA team tromp all over those mafia guys. Drinks begin at 2:00 pm. Afterward, we will see Squeezebox in a playhouse run by little miss klingler. When we go to the box office, we might want to go up seperately . I am Evan Tortellini and Seth is Ellen Singleton. I remember that much.

Closing is June 23. Seth leaves for San Diego a few hours later, so moving will be on the 29th If you have one of those jobs where you don't have to work during the week and are interested in spending some quality time on Route 3, feel free to stop by. I know there are a lot of other offers out there, but we, too, will feed you beer. But you can't take a shower.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 11:57 AM   0 comments
10.6.06
more milk talk
this time, it's labels. fire away.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:59 AM   1 comments
9.6.06
it's a sad day
when the monster is updating faster than the rest of you clowns. put down your lives for a second, would you? stop curing cancer, putting criminals in jail, assisting old ladies, reading the bible, etc. and POST. congratulations, chris.

also, to the right, enjoy added links from fellow journalist-slaves. blogging, like poverty, can be flattering.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 11:14 AM   0 comments
7.6.06
I'm the only one up here dancing all by myself?
Rated NC-17 (for foreign language.)

Dear College Friends:

I need your help. Moving means packing, and packing means dropping boxes from which flow journals and doodlings and clippings from centuries ago. I need you to be with me again/ we pound on our steering wheels yelling fuckfuckfuck //we pull out of driveways / we get up early to read /we climb up hills to hang off the branches / /we sing cross-legged in the dark/ we are watching our girlfriends kiss along union street/we are on top of art buildings// we are not smoking pot//on wednesdays we fold our guts onto the couch/talya? chris? both of you, in particular, have seen these things. these clintonville bible people are not real to me. they were not there when we were being made. we made lists/and we burned them. there is only one guy here to stop me and he is busy with the mortgage papers. /// 6 He will be like a bush in the wastelands // he will not see prosperity when it comes//He will dwell in the parched places of the desert, //in a salt land where no one lives //9 /The heart is deceitful above all things /and beyond cure. /Who can understand it?//Dizo Senhor: Maldito é o homem que põe a sua confiança noutro homem cujo coração se afasta de Deus, que confia na natureza humana para se fortalecer.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 7:16 PM   4 comments
6.6.06
for Kazuma. or, in memory of.
"Ah yes me rikey come to upper arington and makey big american dorrars for selling supermarket. fresh robster and crams. you rikey reservation, wonton soupy?" said Jim Zhun, manager of the Superstar American Super Asian Supermarket.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 3:39 AM   0 comments
3.6.06
so, like ... should we buy a tractor now?
While we all wait nervously for the plumber to return with estimates, and also for the rain to clear before the 250th gallery hop, I thought I'd take a moment to describe our property to you.

The Basics:
-Possum Street
-BANGS, Ohio (complete with a slightly less perverted 'Mount Vernon' mailing address)
-34 miles to work

The Characters:
-an old farmhouse built in 1912. While in the basement, you can see the trees they used to build it.(some still have the bark on them) (others did not survive the Powder Post Beetle Insurgency of 1955)
-6.5 acres (WTF)
-A Barn (questionably described as "functional")
-The Four-Car Garage (an affectionate name for which we are desperately seeking ... any suggestions?)

The Perks:
-pre-installed tire swing
-A frickin' C
-a new system of not one, but TWO (dueling) leach beds or absorption fields
-plenty of room to hide unsightly home burials
- 0.3 miles from The House of Nightmares.
-AND we anticipate free golf balls (as Knox County's own Chapel Hill Golf Course sits adjacent to our property)

The Non-Perks:
-commute slightly longer than three minutes
-crawl home from Patrick Js slightly longer than 30 seconds
-ticks
-no one can hear you scream

All in all, not a bad deal. Plus, I'm going to run for Knox County commissioner, soon after I form the We Oppose Knox County Airport Expansion, or WOKE. We'll meet every Tuesday and Wednesday. I call Noise Committee Chair!

Seriously though I think it could be really fun to videotape us as we adjust from 900 square feet and no yard to 6.5 acres and an old farm house, barn, etc. Why isn't MTV here, Seth? This reality show won't write itself. Wait.

theteet.blogspot.com
PR LLC, Inc.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:49 PM   2 comments
Adventures in Babysitting (1987)
i know you're getting sick of the eye candy, but put up with me for one more second.


you think this is bad? good thing jacob's got his back to the camera -- that way you can't see he's actually shooting up.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:29 PM   0 comments
1.6.06
Ask This Old House
anyone know how much it costs to move a water holding tank from a pit outside your home into the basement?

i'm terrified and excited.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:15 AM   1 comments
About Me

Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

About Me:
See my complete profile

Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004.

Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.

for our boss.
i'm glad you're here.
for public officials, etc.
welcome wagon.
buzz.

"The perfect amount ... of panache."

-- Blogspot's Mae Klingler

"Funny and insightful..."

--Diaryland's Lemonscarlet

"I read your blog the other day."

--Jim Woods, Dispatch reporter

"You're not putting that on the Internet, are you?"

--family and friends

we must stop meeting like this.
klingler. rankin. strader. Nadine. i talked to her once and she was hilarious. jessm. Do the Dew. newbie. SJP. welcome to earf. the original spiderman. not safe around house plants. pencils from heaven. aholeonapc. e-normal. nevada. Look, ma. KT. name without a face. knows how to party. secret reading. bobservations. filipiak boy. filipiak girl. My sis, the blonde. Wogan's Heroes.
on notice.
blagers.
blager girls. blager boy.
i heart internets.
passiveagressivenotes. apostrophe abuse. literally the best thing on the Web. too much cute.
previously on.
you saw it here first.
visuals.

theteet in pictures.

i heart internet two.
for pervs. freestyle nollie. free love freeway. NEW AMAZING FOOTAGE. jesus the hot air balloon. bubbles. aokusa. Gold Pants. fashion. Watch This Movie. the man who is always there for you is always here. Lambuel. cartoons. farming is fun!

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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