I slammed my finger in the blender thing and after all the swearing, i couldn't help but be reminded of you. Now every time I glance down at my hands or touch my finger with anything at all, it's like the sock thing, only much more painful (but pleasant!) I also included this partially for Megan because I know how she feels about my hands. Please note the coffee-stained cuticles and poorly-managed growth. Also, there was blood coming out of the top of this thing. Isn't that gross? Honestly, who would show this online? Posted by Hello
Colleen, I heard you needed some information. Please direct your attention HERE
Well folks, it's January 24, 2005 in Ohio today, and the British have declared this "the most depressing day of the year." Using whatever science they deem sensational, Brits have constructed a formula for depressing days which i have re-enacted below:
Where:
W: Weather
D: Debt
d: Money due in January pay
T: Time since Christmas
Q: Time since failed quit attempt
M: General motivational levels
NA: The need to take action
COCKSHIT: The mother f'n wind chill factor. Damn!
Read: Watch out for desperate drivers looking for a head-on collisions, folks hanging themselves from the side of buildings, or couples who have stayed in their bedroom for the past several days eating a leftover ham.
That's right it's winter here in the capital city and everything is as gray as gray as gray as it can get and don't forget the bitter cold! and the wind! oh the wind! people and animals all over the world are alone and outraged.
"I have to drink at least 1 Guinness an hour to keep my bones warm," said Seth Teter, an Ohio Farm Bureau worker whose 2003 Hyundai Accent refused to start on his way to work this morning. "I want some TAcoBell," he added, emphasizing all the wrong syllables.
"Ppppfffftttt. Pffffttt, Pfffffffffttttttt," said Professor Herman, a hedgehog.
Will winter keep our souls locked up in its icy hand of death forever?
Film at eleven.
So going to Athens always makes me feel strange. A mix of deliciousness and...yeah. Maybe it's just the combined 3.2-hour car ride inside my own head. That's always dangerous. Maybe it's the spiky hedgehog poking my thigh while i drive. Also not safe. Maybe it's old friends and familiar scenes poised somewhat uncomfortably atop a 7-month void of limited communication. It's actually probably just Burrito Buggy. Every time i go there, something strange happens inside of me.
On the ride home I was thinking about how much I love Jessica Meyer. If you're out there Jess, I'd like to see you and have you shake my hand.
Things i've learned in the last few hours:
Don't ever tell Chris Pyle that you work for Starbucks.
Don't ever let your pet poop on a table.
Don't ever buy Emily Blair a hedgehog.
Don't ever believe the weather man.
There are a lot of new connections with new people in my life, but none of them are as firing like they could be. I'm holding onto something, people. I, like many of the Athenites i know, am reluctant to leave my imaginary nest.
When i walk outside in the winter and get angry, I always think fondly of you Emily Blair.
Damn winter. Damn time of transition. Damn coffee job. Please remember that nothing is really ever as bad as i try to make it sound.
Instead of smashing our car window with a brick and stealing nothing, may we recommend knocking on our door and asking for $100? It would be cheaper for us and more profitable for you. And please, if you are going to go through with your smashtastic plan, please do it in the summer when we want our windows down anyway. and honestly - what does the owner of a hyundai accent have that you want? was it that sack of Wendy's trash that caught your eye? or was it that empty can of cheery coke? you suck. we hate you.
we have changed our minds about the death penalty.
No seriously though. Take my husband. Seriously. Take him. No, Seriously. Listen.
From June until November, Seth sent out 135 resumes. He spent his days cleaning, cooking and washing whilst i toiled at the coffee house. He made calls, surfed online, went on interviews, made more calls, sent thank-yous, sent out more resumes, worked at Fru-Fru for a bit and then spiraled into despair. All he wanted was a job. All he wanted was to be where he could make a difference. All he wanted was to fuel the fire. All he wanted was to be free of the beast. So he freaked out for a really long time, became depressed, stopped doing housework...eventually he even watched daytime television. One day, he snapped and drove out to the woods. It is my understanding that he wrestled with the Lord for several hours on this day, and eventually petted a tiny baby deer. You know what verse he finally had to accept? Be still and know. That was Seth's lesson. He had to stop squirming and have confidence that God was God. On the way home from his woodland adventure, his wife called. Some dude named Joe Cornelly had left a message asking him to interview with some farm place. The rest is history.
I think that what is happening now is a refinement of sorts. We all have lessons to learn. we all have magical baby deers to pet. Each person's story is different, so don't set a time limit. If you don't have a job by summer, this is ok. I think that maybe some of us have to be broken down first, like Seth, or maybe others have to have the fire put under our butts. Others may have no struggle, while others simply have to start the ride on the pain train by sending out some resumes.
Today you have a choice to make the most of this time. you can be pleasant and hopeful and continue to petition both god and potential employers. you can save the souls of the meaningless peon co-workers at your meaningless jobs. Or you can ride a shame spiral to the depths of your soul. or blog. you can blog too.
chris, are you asking why we don't know what we want, or why we aren't getting what we ask for? both? either way, i hope you read the previous post before you read this one.
i just spent some time adding some things to the right without the permission of the authors. browse and enjoy. there are many others of great value that i'd like to add, however, i am embarrassed that i spend so much time reading about people with whom i was vaguely familiar in college, those i made out with occasionally, and those i was never cool enough to be friends with. so i will keep those a secret for now.
i finally have a resume and a cover letter template and i'm working on putting together my clips. The magic number is 3-5 and i'm having difficulty singling out "the best." do i include one of those weird technical articles from my time in DC? and what about my inappropriately-long piece on floyd the coal miner? don't worry, i know the answer. Can anyone else tell i'm stalling?
i love starbucks.
you know what time it is right now? it's 11:36 in the am, and i'm not at work like the rest of the suckas. i have thursday off. when i do have to go into work, i chat with Holly, the Gregs, Professor, Coach and of course, Frankie. I make them coffee and send them on their merry way. I suggest special blends and offer them samples of delicious pastries. I live. i gossip. i love. Sure, maybe i have more potential for life than this (maybe/maybe not?) but it's so damn EASY. and FUN. and isn't that what the Bible says life is supposed to be all about? Erg...
Christopher Cantoni asked why "we all" seem to be in this same position, that is, not doing what we thought we would be after college, that is, getting paid by the hour in the food service industry, selling couches, freelancing for our fathers without getting paid, etc. - and that is - a good question that i promised to answer.
mae, chris, all those scripters, and i - we're all pretty smart and thus far successful people. why don't employers want us?
man, i don't know. we're just dumb i guess. or fatty fat fat fat.
Can we please believe that this happened now, and shortly thereafter, get over it? Thank you so much. Hey. I'm talking to you, Starbucks. Posted by Hello
a: 61-year old rheumatoid arthritis "wait until they leave before I poke my head out" Ruth
b: gay mid 30s seasonal decorator Sean
c: Seth and Lyndsey
d: early 20s nurse who says the f-word a lot and broke our ironing board but offered to replace it and also informs us politley if we've left the interior lights on in the Honda Sara
e: or 25 year old gruffy bearded pot-smoking mechanic Ben
Sometimes when a relationship gets complicated, sagging between disappointment and boredom, it feels quite natural to seek first satisfaction, excitement or romance. Plenty of talk these days leads us to try harder, look sexier and read more about Christian marriage.
Contrary to all this noise, Jesus brings our attention to the most unlikely place. 'Look at the birds of the air...they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them.' While Jesus is emphasizing the basics of life like food, water and shelter, i think it safe to say that most of our worries in life are challenged in Matthew 6. At the close of this chapter, Jesus highlights the thrust of all He has said up until now, 'Seek first his kingdom and all these things will be given to you as well.'
By looking at something other than your own satisfaction, you begin to see something very important. Be reminded of the greater work. God is doing something way bigger than making way for Christian marriage, Christian friendships and Christian fellowship.
And if you choose to care for someone only when your so-called needs are being met, marriage, or relationships for that matter, may not be for you.
All this is brought you you courtesy of To Become One , a book I'm reading, coincidentally, on Christian marriage. Hee.
Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.
Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.
Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.
Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.
Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.
Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.
Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.
Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.
Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.
Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.
Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.
Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.
Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.
Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.
Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.
Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.
Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.
Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.
.jpg)
