i am finishing the last martini possible with the supplies we have left in the house.
this declaration makes seth mad a) because it's not a martini, it's a margarita and b) because i am putting olives in a glass of tequila blanco con margarita mix and prancing around the house bragging about my "martini."
listen. i had "an original house martini" at applebees and i SWEAR there was salt on the rim. salt. on the rim. of. the. martini. so leave me alone, ok? i'm not trying to be all jimmy buffet and shit.
i know i mention some sort of alcohol in ever post, but i promise. i'm okay. ssssrrrioosssly.
i do this thing now where i mix up a drink or have a glass of wine every day after work or with dinner. supposed to be healthy, right? antioxidants or something.
anyway, can i talk more about brittiny? ha! i said your name. i know she reads this occasionally, so i must give her props. the girl is a genius. way too sophisticated for me, i know. but i'm working on it. she's going to take me shopping one day.
she is going to teach me that it is okay to spend over $40 on A piece of clothing. oh boy. my stomach turns to think of it.
sidenote: if you're married to seth, the following does not constitute as a threat; "I'm going to blog about this!"
In fact, the most it will do is lead to an awkward pause as you wait for an outrage that will never materialize.
do i tell the same stories over an over again?
Chris - The worst curse you can put upon a blog is a promise to update "daily." I'm proud of your efforts and hope to be a part of the team in some way. But I will not update "daily." (You hear that, gods of post?!)
i feel like we are all in the same place. there is not one among us that is faithful. not one.
i went to a mennonite church on sunday. more on this later.
If they sold wine at Lowe's, it would've saved us a trip.
"They use MATH to solve CRIME.How sweet is that?" - Seth Teter on why we should stay in Friday night.
I guess we do need a rest after our date with the Rug Doctor last week. Pop open a bottle of port and let the hot water extract years of abrasive grit right out of you fibers.
ps- do not try the latter at home. The whole thing was very counter-productive.
An unintentional welcome party for winter. We had wine as well. bad move.
Afterward, we just looked at each other, then the floor...He went to lathe. I reached for the lap top.
It's actually not as good as it could have been, but it gets the award for Most Births in a Feature Film. I can safely say have never seen so many bloody baby heads in my life.
I feel like writing something good.
I didn't say I could.
Guys, I just looked at our online wedding pictures and was reminded how young and happy we all are. And good-looking! Good show, friends. Good show.
When you are running for public office, never let google keep this information. Oh how I wish I could hear Mae ride the pun train into the ground there. (Seth has an empty seat beside him...)
Your City Council term of the week:
Ramboozled.
"Looks like we're being ramboozled here." - Prominent Eastside Attorney.
at least one of these things is completely untrue.
oh no, here comes that sun again.
so i think i've been trying to hide from the lord, god almighty.
it's been over a month and i'm in the mood to tell you, aunt, uncle, brother, cousin, ex-boyfriend, mother, spam robot, that i haven't been praying or listening or speaking or feeling in a little while longer than i should and i'm almost (thisclose) to the point of getting up early, making some coffee, reading the bible, etc. how many times am i allowed to say that?
i read everyone else's blogs and i am happy for the diversity in your thoughts! my blog is usually about three things: job. dog. or fashion. you are breathing! growing! living! if you're trying to fake it, you've done it well. i am convinced you're happy. with or without him. i am not suspicious.
i'm the one with the problem, here. i have seen god sneak in to meetings and abandoned buildings and my belly and i think about athens and how there was at least a week where i would get up and read my bible and pray for at least an hour every day. wow. do you remember that? isn't that some crazy shit? and i felt so connected and so alive, with a purpose, even! and not just being there to cover city council spats or columbus happenings -- i mean, that's a good part of it, but what's the point if you're dying, anyway? -- and i was scared to death the whole time.
remember the front room? and all the crazy things that happened there? wow.
shit, man.
this house is messy! i haven't felt like this since i was on birth control.
so i have some great friends at work.
a former sorority president! can you believe it?! i never thought ... we're so different, but it's worked out really well so far. for me at least. she has broadened my horizons. and she lets me stare at her for that hour on Monday after i have turned in all my stories (8-10!)and my brain is complete mush and i can't really do anything but that.
she and our commentary editor, whose picture i can show you, came to paul bunyan with me. isn't that nice?
have you stayed with me this long?
i owe you something.
a secret.
come close.
right now, i am growing a baby inside my belly. and it's not seth's!
did you ever think you'd type "taco baby" in a google image search and come up with just what you needed? god bless the dubya-dubya-dubya. amen
my editor told everyone i had some magazine-y like profile stories. and he never tells anyone anything good, or so i hear! score! ha!
Maybel is not very happy in her pants/diaper/pad combo.
She walks like a pregnant lady. and humps like one as well, i imagine.
I spent the day chasing ghosts. Sixty miles in the Honda and I came up empty-handed. I didn't even get to be on tv. My own mother wouldn't even answer the phone when I called -- let alone the city auditor.
There is a Rod Parsley Jr. growing up in Reynoldsburg. Don't feed it after midnight. I drove by his mansion this afternoon. Is it illegal to put a note in someone's mailbox? If so, I'm totally going to be fired and arrested. (development!)
Speaking of, I saw the first disc of season two last night. muy bien.
Do dogs get cramps?
Is 32 oz. of gatorade too much?
How drunk will I get tomorrow?
Will Bexley replace their pool?
I really wish I had something useful for you here.
i'm at the critical point in my career where i need to seriously consider whether or not i want to pursue my work as an amateur lumberjack.
Saturday, also called by many "A Damn Shame" proved a very unsuccessful round of what has been an roller coaster of emotion in this field.
Out of fifteen possible points, I secured one.
This is not what the crowd wants to see. Especially in its female participants. In axe throwing, as in several other things, no one cares what you do in practice. "But can you do it when it matters -- as it matters in battle?" as Mr. Wallace has asked, and rightly so.
So I have some options at this point, which include, as my father has told me, participating while slightly intoxicated and therefore numbed to piercing eyes of the crowd, or to submit defeat and enjoy next year's festival from the sidelines.
Do i continue to make an ass out of myself or not? I think the answer is tentatively yes.
It is better to have tried and failed?
At what point or ratio does this become obsolete?
I think of Tim, the overweight high jumper. I think of Martin Luther King. I think of Ohio Rep. Dennis Kucinich. I think of others.
More on this next October.
Thanks, as I have said, to everyone who hollered for me. Much thanks. Without you, I would have only the halfhearted pity claps enforced by the event's announcer.
When I got home (eventually, after trips to Hillsboro and the Mead Paper Factory) and fell asleep in bed, I woke to the heaving sounds of my bulldog's belly, and the warm liquid chunk of her insides sliding down my neck/face area to my shoulders and back. Can't say I've ever had that happen before. This whole weekend must be God's lesson in humility. Well done...Well done.
So I've been watching the original British version of The Office. Check it out on Netflix. Much better than our version, in my opinion.
And I've been missing every episode of Arrested Development, season tres.
It's a little after 3 p.m. and Seth and I are still in our sleeping clothes.
I'm two months into this job, and I've managed to get hate calls from the mayors and the police chiefs, among others. I'm very much not equipped to handle these kinds of conversations. I'm not quite ready to argue the case for my job. Always be prepared to answer everyone who asks you, etc. Honestly, it all seems a bit like gossip to me. Professional tattling. Freedom of the press and whatnot. Blah Blah Blah. I rarely had to deal with any crap like this at the ANews. I'm not sure what the deal is there.
I am starting to feel like a new job in the field of my choosing isn't the answer I was looking for all those months at Starbucks. As many of you know, i have extreme ups and downs on a daily basis with this job. It's so bizarre.
I did run in to a fellow comrade at Patrick J's Friday night, and although he was a little tipsy, he gave me the best compliment I've had so far as a reporter.
"She's got potential. You tell her there's a dead body and she'll go find it...and she'll come back with something better than you'll find in the Dispatch."
Is this what god made me to be? maybe.
Luckily, the compliment was followed by "Give us 6-8 more months, and we'll kick your ass, but you'll move on to something great. You'll write your own ticket, then."
I, too, had spent some time crying in the bathroom before this, questioning my career choice and my methods as a reporter, wondering if i knew what the hell i was doing. My comrade's compliment didn't convince me otherwise. it just made a perfect distraction. That and the Blue Moon on tap.
Guys, now that we're "here," what are we doing? Where do we go next? Are we in Bible studies? are we investing in others? Are we being invested in? Are we tithing? Are we encouraged? Are we treading water? Do we care? Finally, do me a favor. Promise me you'll never buy a Dominion Home.
Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.
Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.
Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.
Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.
Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.
Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.
Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.
Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.
Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.
Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.
Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.
Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.
Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.
Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.
Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.
Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.
Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.
Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.
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