21.5.05
come here babies and hold mama
i need you like water like grass like rain

is that the song by Lee Ann Rimes? if it is, imagine i am singing to you now.

or

i need you now...more than words cans say i need you nooooowwwww.

you pick.

guys, this has been the most exhausting week of my life. you know that feeling where your body pauses for a moment and you have to assure yourself "ok, i am totally capable of moving this upstairs." That was me. For five days in a row. and Dan and Julie "More Beautiful than a Sunset" Clark came up from Virginia Beach. and Carrie from work left for Houston. and the Apron Gala. Lord, don't let me forget to tell you about the Apron Gala. and the problem. which was that I worked 5:00-11pm every night, and that Seth worked 8-5pm every day, so we never really got to work together as a team, and we never really got to go five minutes without cleaning up after Maybel. and we never really ate or slept. except for approximately one slice of roast beef on two pieces of bread or one bowl of Giant Eagle's Fruit Essentials.

Maybel is our dog. You know, the one you stared at for a week straight.

We still don't have internet. Something about a "custom job" that sent the Time Warner Cable Guy outside to punch frantically on his walkie talkie. I am coming to you from Ashland, Ohio, where i just landed, kept awake and alive and happy only by the sound of Mae Klingler's sweet voice. Happy Birthday Mae. You are twenty-seven now.

I'm not sure i can have the internet in Central America. This means we both must prepare for another dry spell... I have missed you so much. I miss reading your blog and i fear i will never catch up.

Ok.

As soon as I had my suitcase packed and ready, Maybel hopped inside and took a pee. aren't puppies hilarious?

Our neighbors are from Libya.

Our washer and dryer cut everyone.

I'm sorry but i hate Cameron Diaz and trippin'

is this all i wanted to say?

Our Vet is obsessed with apples.

Good job katie on getting the nuts.

Too much to tell.

Rich and Caroline are our new friends from...church!

It is time to get on the airplane now.

I wonder how i will talk to Seth.

Our other neighbors gain magical powers by having sex with cats.

Information overload.

This session has been terminated. Do you wish to file an error report?
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 2:21 AM   2 comments
19.5.05
"so tired got so many projects"
only for real.

ok guys.

mostly i have been packing, working, cleaning up shit, packing, working, moving, cleaning up shit, unpacking, working...and now i have to pack again.(the cleaning up shit part was way underrepresented, by the way.)

i'm pretty sure i will have thedubyadubyadubya in Rica, Costa.

i am dirty. and exhausted. i have bruises.

Patrick E.-

Thank you for saving our lives. We will have the instrument back to you by 12 noon tomorrow. promise.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 6:04 PM   0 comments
10.5.05
I used to be able to name every nut that there was.

Here we go again
Posted by Hello

Here she is...our Grand Champion bulldog fresh outta Bluegrass Country.

Can you believe it? We couldn't, so we took some pictures.

Warning: Cover your heart or she will fall in and hurt herself.

PS- We are calling her BullyBaby for now. Can you help us pick a much better, more permanent name?

pss- ahhhhhhhhh, sweet sweet blissful happiness.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:45 PM   4 comments
9.5.05
who am i kidding?
i still love him so.

we'll just have to go to New York to get our one-on-one time.

As things were winding down, and the audience became aware of it, a few in the crowd started screaming "Save Ohio," which I thought was appropriate. He decided to end the performance (note: not "Special Viewing for my Biggest Admirer Lyndsey")with an encouraging story of what happened in his life shortly after September 11. The whole thing went down about 12 blocks from his home, and afterward, he was convinced that we'd entered the dark ages, that no one was ever going to smile again, that all was lost. The stench soaked in to all his clothes, furniture. This is it, he thought. Happiness, Joy, Everything, is over. Then one day after taping the Daily Show, he noticed a homeless man sitting on the stoop beside the studio in a long black trench coat, jerking off. "You know, i think we're gonna be all right," Jon thought. "I think we're going to be all right."
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 11:09 AM   0 comments
7.5.05
ah, chutzpa!
so it happened.

the inevitable Fiery Death Crash of Idol Flight 457.

did you know this was going to happen? if so, why didn't you warn me?

he approached us cautiously. a 5pm Friday night crowd? he didn't trust us. were we children? were we mistakenly waiting for Disney Presents On Ice? Why would anyone come to a show at 5pm on a friday night in columbus ohio? did we expect him to pile into the van with us and head to Applebee's afterward? he hated us. i know it. i know it. he hated us.

so he said some funny things, and there was laughter at some recycled jokes, and laughter at some new jokes, and laughter at the reenactment of a man humping a pinata and repeated use of the word "balls," and then we clapped and he humbly bowed and disappeared and we clapped and clapped and he didn't come back out and we waited and they ushered us out to make room for a more respected breed - the 8 o'clock crowd - and before i knew it we were outside and the night was over and it was.....

i dont know, 6:30 or so.

I thought that with all the effort i put into our relationship, we would at least be best friends by the end of the night. and there i was like a sucker with my little "America The Book" and a funsaver camera with seven exposures "just in case" and a little puddle of "anticipation" soaking through my jeans. but all was lost.

no personal greeting. no handshake. no chuckle. no signature. no candid moment. no last-minute goodbye hug. no exchange of email. no "my wife and i would love to have dinner with you sometime." no...nothing. i guess there was one thing.

noticing the contrast between a happy, jovial crowd and the sad, puppy-faced wife, my husband, on the sidewalk outside Palace Theater, as a condolence, offered only this: "I assumed you had been to a performance before and knew how the process worked."

"...if only there was something i could put my hope in that would never fail me," i say.

he eagerly points to himself.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 1:02 AM   2 comments
4.5.05
This is How. Life Should Be.
I went to the library yesterday to return The Man Who Wasn't There (good as always), Indiana Jones (Temple of doom, not the best one, i know...) Kate and Leopold (romantic comedy + any tear in the fabric of timespace = awful.) and Ghostbusters (no parenthesis needed).

On my way out I picked up a heartbreaking work of genius, staggering. I'd like to thank everyone along the way who made this possible - first Bryony and then Talya and then Mae. I will start this journey today in the park. No Best American Non-Required Reading at the Columbus Metropolitan Library. Surprised? Me too.

Charlie spent the night last night. This only increased my need. Unfortunately, he is country-raised, and his short stint in Columbus brought back memories of days on the streets. He shook, started and refused to go potty for at least 24 hours. Poor little fellow. He spent the night trembling and nosing our feet at the foot of the bed.

Go to Biblegateway.com and have the man with the accent read you the chapter of Luke. It must be the NIV version. Enthralling.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 10:11 AM   1 comments
pass the rubbers, will ya doc?
and another thing.

i haven't cried or thrown up in like almost two months i think.

am i back to my real self again?

let's test.
-

-

-

-

-

yep, the first thing i thought of was food. then coffee. and then pets. now jon stewart. ok good. now food again. good. we're all good here. everything appears to be in working order.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:49 AM   0 comments
2.5.05
project potential puppy.
Hey guys we're moving!

Do you like the wires?

Well, it's not as cute as 781 #2, that's for darn sure, but it has everything we can ever want in an apartment, including:

- a decorative fire place
- a reasonable price
- two bedrooms
- a fight-club-like basement where Seth can make all the noise he wants
- a semi-safe neighborhood
- hippy neighbors (i have never seen so many "BUSH LIED" stickers in my life)
- and that's right -
- we can get a puppy!

hurrah!

We Love Clintonville!

also, there seems to be a school across the street, which is quaint, and comes with a track for me and my puppy to run/poop on. Everything is yet to be official, so we'll let you know if we can get in.

There are a few kinks, including;
a) the worst kitchen shelves you have ever seen in your life. You know, the board on top of the wire L-brace. Hideous. They are the first things to go.
b) and i can't reach the toilet paper dispenser from the toilet. This shall have to be remedied.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 3:05 PM   5 comments
About Me

Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

About Me:
See my complete profile

Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004.

Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.

for our boss.
i'm glad you're here.
for public officials, etc.
welcome wagon.
buzz.

"The perfect amount ... of panache."

-- Blogspot's Mae Klingler

"Funny and insightful..."

--Diaryland's Lemonscarlet

"I read your blog the other day."

--Jim Woods, Dispatch reporter

"You're not putting that on the Internet, are you?"

--family and friends

we must stop meeting like this.
klingler. rankin. strader. Nadine. i talked to her once and she was hilarious. jessm. Do the Dew. newbie. SJP. welcome to earf. the original spiderman. not safe around house plants. pencils from heaven. aholeonapc. e-normal. nevada. Look, ma. KT. name without a face. knows how to party. secret reading. bobservations. filipiak boy. filipiak girl. My sis, the blonde. Wogan's Heroes.
on notice.
blagers.
blager girls. blager boy.
i heart internets.
passiveagressivenotes. apostrophe abuse. literally the best thing on the Web. too much cute.
previously on.
you saw it here first.
visuals.

theteet in pictures.

i heart internet two.
for pervs. freestyle nollie. free love freeway. NEW AMAZING FOOTAGE. jesus the hot air balloon. bubbles. aokusa. Gold Pants. fashion. Watch This Movie. the man who is always there for you is always here. Lambuel. cartoons. farming is fun!

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

BLOGGER