28.12.04
hedgie my hog
we think our baby is quilling.

either that, or mites (yikes!) Time for his olive oil bath.

in other news, tidal waves. calling all former PFTW members, please. also, the next three days are officially declared "No Complaining Allowed Today Day," as we realize all the things we need to understand while living on the earth. you are not your own. be prepared for this theme to be tested as you chip your Honda out of the ice block at 5:00 am, or while you are unloading the York truck at work. Get a grip, people.

I miss my friends, and look forward to speaking with them on the cellular phone i just brought home from ashland, ohio. have you guys been calling seth? hope not. anyway, mae. something terrible has happened and i'll wait until complaining begins again before i'll tell you. seth has some serious apologizing to do.

the following post has been terrible. i'm out of the groove, but i had to give something. speak to everyone soon. heart, Ltrain.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 12:48 PM   0 comments
21.12.04
you remember how much i loved groundhogs...

Ladies and Gentleman introducing.....

Professor Herman K. Sledgehog

...The newest member of the Teter family. Who would have thought that i wanted a hedgehog so badly? Not me, I tell you this. It was only by my husband's christmas genius that we came about the Hermster (or Professor Huffington if you rouse him before 10:30 p.m.)

This is all very new and exciting, so we must take it one step at a time. First, five things you need to know about Professor H:
1.) He cannot shoot quills at you. This is what a porcupine does. He can only surprise you with them. They poke a little, but the do not hurt you as much as make you say "fucker!" way more than you'd ever want to.
2.) He does, however, roll into a defensive little ball if you wake him up before he's ready, or take him to PetCo. or Target, or mention S-O-N-I-C.
3.) After a few days, once Prof. H gets used to you and your new smell, he will be happy to crawl into the pocket of your hooded sweatshirt and watch movies with you.
4.) Prof. H loves more than anything to splash around in the bathtub...but do not make fun of him for falling head first into his water dish. Once he stops coughing and sneezing, he will roll into a little ball of embarrassment, and will pout until you offer him a tasty treat.
5.) He eats "hedgehog food" from the store and little meal worms for treats.

Stay tuned, there are many many many more PHS stories to come.
Posted by Hello
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 9:02 AM   1 comments
16.12.04
All vomiting aside...

This could totally be me.
Posted by Hello

Seth and I will be attending "Jon Stewart Live" at the Palace Theater at 5:00pm on May 6. The rapture better not happen before then, or i'll be tempted to stick around.

That's right. Jon Stewart. In the flesh. Talking about stuff. I hope he's as humble and clever as ever. Maybe, if we creep around long enough, we'll get to meet him. OH! He could sign my America!!! (The Book) Oh sweet spring, doth will be a long time till you've sprung.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 10:59 AM   0 comments
15.12.04
Can I talk about this?
I spent all yesterday morning (at work) throwing up again!? WTF is going on. When things cleared up in the afternoon, my boss told me to go buy a test because I was pregnant. Olivia, Michael and Carrie and many nosy customers agreed. "Oh yeah. 99.9 % sure that's what it is," Olivia said. So they spent the rest of the day convinving me that i was going to have a "BabyBot" (My nickname for this week is TeterBot, so it follows naturally)- and they totally freaked me out. Seth and I want babies, but only when we don't have to climb stairs to get to our house, and when we both make enough money to feed it and "teach it stuff." So in like 3-5 years. So when i got off work completely convinced i was with child, i bought a test and was very confused at the emotions i felt when it was negative. It was like Jennifer Aniston when Phoebe tells her she's not pregnant when she really is. Except i'm really not i don't think.

So WebMD tells me that I have food poisoning, i have the flu, i'm pregnant or i have brain cancer. Does anyone else know the symptom of vomiting 1-3 times per week for three weeks in a row, skipping one week? no new diet, no new stresses, no partying...what is wrong with me? i'll let you know when i find out.

on a different note.
Mae, your message the other day was laugh-out-loud funny. Chris, your email was a chuckler, too. I spent my free time writing this blog, but i'll get back to everyone soon. not tonight as i work, but soon. heart lyndsey
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 8:02 AM   2 comments
13.12.04
laundry 101
Today I taught Seth the truth about laundry. Boys, please listen. There are certain clothes that won't fade as fast if you don't put them in the dryer. There are certain materials that don't like to be tumbled around in heat for an hour. There are certain sweaters that will shrink if exposed to this sort of treatment. Also, there are certain clothes that like to be washed with one another. Whites with whites and blacks with blacks and reds with reds and so on. This is not discrimination. This is how God intended laundry to be. And please. Don't ever use heavy duty unless you are washing dirty coveralls. We are not farmers yet.

When I told him all this, it broke his heart. Bullshit, he says. These laundry rules are all a lie. It's just a way for women to exert false power over men, he says. If you don't believe me, I say, consult the tag on the garment. It was placed there by the manufacturer. Practice your laundry black magic elsewhere, he says.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 11:32 PM   0 comments
10.12.04
Can i tell you about the bravest man of all?
Can I tell you about the bravest man of all? He's my husband, Seth. One night, upon arriving home from work I discovered a tiny rodent with wings attached to the curtain in the hallway outside our apartment. We decided that it was a bat. After a few unsuccessful tries at trapping it with the trash can, my husband decided that he would just remove the tiny creature with his hands. I got him some garden gloves from the closet, and as I nervously peered through the crack in the living room door, i saw him reach up and grab the little guy and remove him from our curtain. With his hands. I mean, he had on gloves, but still. He has learned so much already from the farmers.

The bat surprisingly did not protest, but was content in Seth's hand even after he tried to let it go outside our house. He, the bat, not Seth, just showed his tiny little teeth in a pathetic little snarl and waited patiently for Seth to put him on the ground.

An hour or two later, we went outside and found that our bat had either flown away or been stolen. We were googling later and learned that sluggish, non-fluttering type bats are not lazy or sleepy but are probably just full of rabies. At least we released it into the world in time to take care of a few children or elderly before it died.

Were you aware?

A few scientists and government types thought that bats could be used to burn down Japan during WWII, and they convinced the President of this also. "Bat bombs," they said, (or tiny napalm bombs tied to bats) could be released onto Japanese cites. As the bats roosted, hundreds of tiny fires would ignite and burn down the whole country, which was made, they said, primarily of tiny nooks and crannies in wood and paper buildings. I bet the bats were glad they used atoms instead. I don't know which idea is more terrible. apples and oranges.

This all raises an interesting question - does anyone know if bats play dead? If you know anything about this, or any other interesting facts about bats or war, please let us know. We're not planning anything or anything. We're just curious and natural learners. Thanks
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 2:55 AM   0 comments
8.12.04
My Virtual Refrigerator

Congratulations to Ryan, who continues to impress us as the Lantern's campus editor.
Posted by Hello
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 10:59 PM   1 comments
For righteous eyes only
MOLDTRAXERS CAN SEE ADS BELOW TODAY'S POST :)

Friends, let me clarify. The throwing up and sighting of the devil last week were eerie but unrelated events. Expired sour cream atop a delicious taco dinner sent me hurling my guts out last week. Seeing the devil a few days prior was only a jarring coincidence.

I did have another dream though. The night before last I had a visit from a messenger shortly before i woke who told me "I'm coming," and then it said "Micheaaaaal." Now i don't know if Michael is coming or if Michael was getting yelled at over the phone, but either way I woke up completely terrified and convinced myself of impending doom for the coming day. I was so shaken up that I shared my dream with my boss, who has not had the best experience with christianity, and who's partner was kicked out of seminary for being a lesbian, and who probably thinks that I am a complete lunatic. What followed was an intense religious discussion and a pouring out of guts. And not only mine. My boss has always been a very open person, and during our talk she shared with me a lot about her past, especially about her abusive father who recently passed away. This opens the door to so many more questions I have for her about masculinity and about her adopted babies and about her beliefs. But i am too scared. The whole thing was really great, and it makes my heart open wide for my boss and her partner. Lots of things were left unfinished. I hope I get another morning to open the store with her.

We actually decided at the end of our conversation that nothing was going to happen to me, and that especially the devil was not going to kill me or anyone in my family. She suggested that God "or something" was probably just trying to remind me to pray more and to read my Bible. She suggested quite seriously that I get my act together and get to church.

I think she might be on to something. Nothing sends you into the Word quicker than being terrified. And yesterday I found out a lot about Michael the archangel. He's a good angel (duh- was I the only one who missed John Travolta's greatest performance ever?) and he kicks some serious dragon ass in the battle of the Apocolypse. And whoever talked to me in my dream was right - he IS coming, and so is Jesus, and the end of the world, and days of judgment and God wiping tears from our eyes, etc. and we should probably not forget that while we're making lattes, loving people and living our dull, boring lives.

I noticed that Talya has joined us, and I am very thankful for this. See? who needs phones or face-to-face talk? It's like a four-way conversation in one! Blogs rock!

PS- Hi Chuck and Patrick...please approve your ads below:)
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 10:55 AM   1 comments
7.12.04

hey big money
Posted by Hello
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 4:28 PM   0 comments

pulse action
Posted by Hello
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 4:07 PM   0 comments
3.12.04
Today I started throwing up
at 5:30 a.m.
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 10:00 PM   3 comments
2.12.04
Does this get your attention?
Yesterday I was walking from my car to my home in broad daylight with an armful of groceries when i met the devil. He was a large white man who looked a bit like Clint Eastwood with a fatter face. He had a large jacket on, but i didn't get a good look at the rest of him, because of the eyes. We had just passed briefly on the sidewalk when he stopped, turned, and whispered "hello my beautiful," all the while looking into my eyes long enough to burn the seal of hell in me and send a huge quivering chill down my entire body. I didn't say anything back.

Perhaps this was just a chance encounter with a creepy but ordinary man, and I have just imagined that he was the devil. It could have all been false, stemming from a dream I had two nights ago where there were no faces, no images, just darkness with a voice from telling me that "he's on his way for a visit, and that I should be expecting him shortly." Him, being the devil, of course. He didn't call himself that or anything, I just seemed to know in the dream. Or it could just be that Seth has to work late all night this week and I'm all alone in the dark with a faulty lock system.

Whatever it is, i think it's time i spend some quality time at my sister's house, don't you think?
posted by Class of 2000 officers @ 12:51 PM   0 comments
About Me

Name: Class of 2000 officers

Home: Columbus, Ohio, United States

About Me:
See my complete profile

Boiling down and dressing up mundane since 2004.

Reading blogs at work? Click to escape to a suitable site!

Proudly serving as Google's #3 reference for Megan Pringle hot since 2007, and Google's #2 reference for "claudia schiffer"+"gold pants" since 2007.

for our boss.
i'm glad you're here.
for public officials, etc.
welcome wagon.
buzz.

"The perfect amount ... of panache."

-- Blogspot's Mae Klingler

"Funny and insightful..."

--Diaryland's Lemonscarlet

"I read your blog the other day."

--Jim Woods, Dispatch reporter

"You're not putting that on the Internet, are you?"

--family and friends

we must stop meeting like this.
klingler. rankin. strader. Nadine. i talked to her once and she was hilarious. jessm. Do the Dew. newbie. SJP. welcome to earf. the original spiderman. not safe around house plants. pencils from heaven. aholeonapc. e-normal. nevada. Look, ma. KT. name without a face. knows how to party. secret reading. bobservations. filipiak boy. filipiak girl. My sis, the blonde. Wogan's Heroes.
on notice.
blagers.
blager girls. blager boy.
i heart internets.
passiveagressivenotes. apostrophe abuse. literally the best thing on the Web. too much cute.
previously on.
you saw it here first.
visuals.

theteet in pictures.

i heart internet two.
for pervs. freestyle nollie. free love freeway. NEW AMAZING FOOTAGE. jesus the hot air balloon. bubbles. aokusa. Gold Pants. fashion. Watch This Movie. the man who is always there for you is always here. Lambuel. cartoons. farming is fun!

I was on the front porch, drowning a mouse in a bucket when this van pulled up, which was strange.

my first lover

user guide.


Name: Seth
Alias: Teth Seter or Steter.
In Brief: The Steter in his natural habitat. Married to theteet.blogspot.com since August 2004. Often the victim of serious hyperbole. Handy.
Hates: Noise, Dominion Homes, above-the-nipple touching, when people get 'handsy.'
Loves: pies (of any kind), dirt, smoking a pipe after eating pie. also, cows.

Name: Maybel
Alias: The Pig or Boobles.
In Brief: Kentucky-born English Bulldog since February 2006.
Hates: Watermelon. All other kinds of melon. The sound of a new trash bag being opened and sitting in the back seat.
Loves: Treats, walks, Charlie, 'humping it out' and barfing.


Name: Amanda
Alias: The Sister.
In Brief: theteet's younger (but larger) sister. Survived a brain bleed in February 2007.
Hates: minor inconveniences that make her blurt out uncontrollably, brain bleeds.
Loves: UFC, cornhole, texting, fast food and her dog Charlie.


Name: mom and dad.
Alias: the 'rents.
In Brief: Ashland natives and frequent visitors. They taught me how to swear.
Hates: hospitals.
Loves: squirrels and lattes.


Name: Mae
Alias: Klingler or Maddog.
In Brief: Cincinnati resident and former college/Old Towne East roommate. Once wrote a song that made theteet cry.
Hates: Hate.
Loves: Jesus, family, puns, guitars and gardening.


Name: Colleen
Alias: Crankin and Rankin.
In Brief: Akron resident and former college roomie. Arguably more handy than Seth. Nice bosom for hugging.
Hates: all drivers.
Loves: beer, coffee, cigarettes and boys we all find strange.


Name: Talya
Alias: Strader and Sweet T.
In Brief: Chicago resident and former college roomie. served brief stint at theteet's 'accountability partner.' collects monthly fee for keeping quiet.
Hates: people who do not comment on her blog.
Loves: social justice, eggs, her boyfriend monsterbeard and the occupation of barista.


Name: Chris
Alias: Christopher, Monsterbeard and Nadine.
In Brief: Chicago resident and college buddy. Maker of 'We once waited up in the dark with a gun,' and other misadventures.
Hates: people who are looking the other way.
Loves: history, film, his girlfriend Strader and acronyms.


Name: pdawg.
Alias: none needed.
In Brief: Former co-worker who is willing to eat waffles with theteet at 4 in the morning regardless of level of snow emergency.
Hates: anyone under the age of 35.
Loves: Hostess pies, old man rants and golf.


Name: Linsly.
Alias: MERLIN, lin or newbie.
In Brief: Former co-worker who lived with us for a week. I can tell this kid anything. He's like a brother.
Hates: sexual predators.
Loves: zombies, guns, porch chats and movie quotes.


Name: jaydubs.
Alias: jwray and 10bagspacking.
In Brief: Co-worker who taught me everything I know about the world.
Hates: mean jokes, mushrooms, clipping fingernails in the office.
Loves: crafts, her gay-together but also betrothed person Kyle, Columbus Bride Magazine, veggie-friendliness and basil.


Name: jessica.
Alias: jessm.
In Brief: College buddy with the amazing handshake. I believe she might be back from Alaska and living in Hudson now.
Hates: poverty.
Loves: Jesus, jazz, geography and hilarious t-shirts.


Name: brittiny.
Alias: Brit-Brat, experimental dater or The Dunlap.
In Brief: Former co-worker (notice a theme here?) who started with me at SNP on the same day. Former Sorority president taught me the ropes of being a lady. her wisdom did not take.
Hates: visible pany line.
Loves: cocktails, shoes, 'the blue box' and her boyfriend the Lizard.


Name: garth and jen.
Alias: not safe around house plants and the real spider-man and/or HSnothingswronghere.
In Brief: Co-worker couple who proved themselves fun at work and on the farm. Periodically forced to kiss in gas station parking lots.
Hates: local broadcast news reporters.
Loves: zombies, movie quotes, Indianapolis and lin rice.


Name: Angie.
Alias: captain cool.
In Brief: Former co-worker who stole my heart. She is the only thing I've ever lost to the Youngstown Vindicator.
Hates: joe and misogynists.
Loves: celebrity gossip, hilarious captions, biking/hiking, her boyfriend Jef, her mom and Columbus.

Name: Melville.
Alias: welcome to earf or bad town.
In Brief: Former co-worker who let me inherit his seat at SNP. For a while, he was the only one who would talk Reynoldsburg politics with me.
Hates: fleas, eminent domain and people who flip the bird.
Loves: his evil cat, running, opinions, beer and Tom Waits.


Name: The Gerish.
Alias: The Gerish.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, you'll see a tousle of black hair breeze by over the cubicle wall.
Hates: Things that aren't crackers.
Loves: crackers.


Name: Dennis.
Alias: secret reading.
In Brief: Co-worker and rare, elusive creature. If you're lucky, he'll walk over and talk to you. But he probably won't. Once took my sister-in-law to Homecoming.
Hates: The damn kids who walk in his yard.
Loves: Corgis, Cedar Point and Rachael. But not the one you're thinking of.

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